You are a giver. He saw that straight away.
In the beginning he managed to pull you in. Perhaps it was a sad story, the fact he was lonely, or that nobody understood him.
You wanted to help him, you wanted desperately to be able to support him as he was dealing with so many unfair things that had happened to him. You were astounded that so many people could let him down, time and time again. You wouldn’t let that happen again, you would be there for him.
At some point he made you promise that you would never leave, that no matter what happened you would stick with it and not give up on him.
You hated seeing people feeling low and out so you agreed to the promise. After all, you wanted to help him.
Slowly, things changed.
He became increasingly cold and hurtful. He stopped asking you about your life, and instead focused on all the different people that were disappointing and stopping him from succeeding. He started suggesting that you were one of those people and you held your head a little lower.
You tried harder and harder, but it felt like the more you tried the more difficult it became.
Even back then you knew something was off. Stories wouldn’t add up, he seemed to deal with problems in a much different way to others, and he was just never happy.
But, you made that promise, so you resigned in your heart that you would fulfil that, no matter what the price.
Everyone in your life told you to be careful, they all said you had changed and they were scared for you. You didn’t see the truth anymore, you were too caught up in his world, his lies, and his manipulation. You stood to lose everything.
Then something happened. You had to break free for some reason and you were really scared of what life would be like in this separate world. You were worried the people you had disregarded not long ago wouldn’t accept you back. You were so scared, that you nearly went back.
Slowly, the pressure started to lift. You realized that you had been stressed and anxious for too long. You began to see the truth about him, and it wasn’t pretty.
He had been using you the entire time. Everything he had said to you was a lie and was said to benefit him and his fantasy life.
People started telling you they knew it the whole time, they could see you becoming a shell of your former self, and thank goodness you managed to escape him. It felt like you were waking up from a nightmare. You actually were.
Looking back you realized you never stood a chance. He operated differently to everyone and the fact you trusted and cared about people was used against you. You would grow from this, but you would never really be the same.
It was the year you would never forget. The year you met a narcissist.