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Your Brokenness is Not Your Fault, But Your Healing Is Your Responsibility

I don’t think our brokenness is our choice.

I think much of the hurt we feel are from things done to us or words said to us, and it’s not something we can control or avoid. People can hurt us. Experiences can scar us. And even though we might have triggered it or not, the bottom line is this: how we treat that pain, that brokenness, is our responsibility.

We can’t force people to heal us. We can’t compel people to ask us where it hurts and make them stop the bleeding. We can’t convince people to mend our scars or kiss away our brokenness.

We can’t oblige people to apologize for all the messed up things they are responsible for; we can’t pressure them to face the trauma they created within us.

We can’t stay in the same place, damaged and wounded, nor can we expect stitches from the same things that cut us.

Because at the end of the day, healing is our choice.

It’s our choice to confront that brokenness. It’s our choice to admit that it shattered us to pieces, but restoration is possible. It’s our choice to look at our bullies but remember that we can also forgive. It’s our choice to let go of that pain, to stop bleeding over the same things again and again and again.

So here’s my prayer: Let today be the day you will finally choose to heal. The day you will choose to allow yourself space and the time, no matter how long, needed to just heal, rest, breathe, regain lost strength, and fuel up on lost courage.

Let today be the day you stop faking strength and just be honest with what’s really going on and how broken you really are, because you can only be whole again when you start to heal.

And healing only happens in the spaces you are willing to reveal.

About the author
Dian is the author of Catastrophes, a prose and poetry collection exploring living and loving, breaking and mending, falling and rising, losing and surviving. Get in touch with her on Instagram and Twitter. Follow Dian on Instagram or read more articles from Dian on Thought Catalog.

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