woman in teal long sleeve shirt standing near body of water during daytime

The Moment It All Made Sense

At 15, she craved approval from all the wrong people. But she was just 15, she didn’t know that the way she looked doesn’t matter, because regardless, she still mattered.

At 17, she gave her all to someone she thought was worth it all. But she was just 17, she didn’t know that he was just some boy — he didn’t know that his words were sharp and it could leave a mark. He didn’t know the right way to love her because maybe he wasn’t even loved the right way as well.

At 21, she was empty. But she was just 21, she didn’t know that losing someone would hurt like hell, but would not hurt forever. She didn’t know that the longing would ache, but the ache would cease. She didn’t know that the tears would flow, but they would dry out. She didn’t know that the emptiness she felt every night would soon be filled. She didn’t know that healing was real, and healing would come with time.

At 23, all she had were broken dreams. But she was just 23, and she didn’t know that dreams and plans don’t always happen the way she wants them to. She didn’t know that even though there were more “nos” than “yeses”, it was the few yeses she really needed. She didn’t know that people would come and while some would root for her, some would not. She didn’t know that regardless of their opinion, she had the power. To turn the pain to something more. To turn the experiences to something meaningful. She didn’t know that her thoughts would make it this far.

Now she’s 26, and finally, she understands.

That with heartaches comes healing.

With losing comes gaining.

With failure comes redirection.

And it all made sense, even if at the moment it didn’t.

Dian is the author of Catastrophes, a prose and poetry collection exploring living and loving, breaking and mending, falling and rising, losing and surviving. Get in touch with her on Instagram and Twitter.

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