This Year, I'm Giving Myself Another Chance
Self-ImprovementSelf-Love

This Year, I’m Giving Myself Another Chance

This year, I am forgiving myself. For all my shortcomings, for all my mistakes, for all the things I did and regret doing. I am forgiving myself for all the times I let my guard down and was hurt. I am forgiving myself for all the times I fell for all the wrong people, for all the times I let my pride be bigger than my relationships. I am forgiving myself for all the people and relationships I allow to slip away, for all the people I took for granted. I am forgiving myself for all the hearts I broke, for all the souls I left crying in the middle of the night. I am forgiving myself for all the times I dreamed and failed, the moments I strived and was not enough. I am forgiving myself for all the bad choices I’ve made, for my past, for the part of me that was ugly and horrible.

This year, I am trying again. Despite of all the times I have fallen short, I will rise. I will overcome. This coming year, I am dreaming again. I am setting goal again, for myself, for my future, for the people I love. I am conquering odds once more, I am setting sail in the unknown. I am going out there, not knowing the possible results, but will just try. This year, I am coloring my blueprints and doing the best that I can to make this life worth looking back at after, say five years.

This year, I am believing again. I am believing in myself, that there is beauty inside me, that I am my own sunshine, that I am a work of art. I am believing that I can do the things I’ve always wanted to do. I am believing that despite all my imperfections and frailties, I am able. This coming year, I am believing again in people, that there are people with good intentions, with kind hearts. That there are people who actually want to love me for all I am, flaws and dirt considered. I am believing that there are true people who will stay by my side amidst the storm, through the tough days and even the easy ones. I am believing that people can be authentic and gracious, just like how I believe that I can be as well. That altogether, we can make it easier to live this life.

This year, I am going to be honest with myself, with people. Enough with the disguises, facades and the lies, if I’m not okay, I’m going to say it. If I don’t like something, I am going to be vocal about it. I am going to be honest with life, with what I want, with what I feel – who knows, maybe life will be amiable enough to actually give it to me. I am going to be brutally true, with the people I keep, with the people I love, with my actions and my thoughts.

This year, I am letting myself flourish and just be who I want to be. Away from all my own expectations. I am letting myself fly without controlling who I should be or who I should love. I am allowing myself the time and space I need in order to become. I am letting myself go. I am letting it take risks, climb mountains, jump leaps, overcome waves.

This year, I am recognizing myself and bringing credits to where credit is due. Because for what it’s worth, after everything that happened last year, I deserve an applause. Not because I was amazing or great, but simply because I was able to set foot into this new year. Simply because I didn’t let the tide flow through and drown me. Simply because I didn’t let the collision scatter me into a million tiny pieces. Simply because I was stronger than my struggles, I was bolder than my battles, I was fiercer than my faults.

As this year begins, I want to start anew. I want to redeem myself. I want to have life, once more.
And, this year, this year is my revival.

And I believe it’s yours too. TC mark

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Dian is the author of Catastrophes, a prose and poetry collection exploring living and loving, breaking and mending, falling and rising, losing and surviving. Get in touch with her on Instagram and Twitter. Follow Dian on Instagram or read more articles from Dian on Thought Catalog.