This Is What It’s Like To Feel You Are Loved Too Much


In a place I don’t recognize
The trees sway and I watch as they collide with each other in forces I can’t measure
I glance above and there isn’t even one star to light the night
The wind and the world consumed me, I am theirs

Thousand of anecdotes dying to come out, no one listens, no one listens
It was silent, not a din, not even a sound
The grass fondled me so tight I can feel their cold tears
Then I heard you, calling me, I don’t know you though but

Your face was beautiful, your hair was strands of compassion and grace
Your heart was pieces of goodness and affliction rolled into one
Your arms held me like I was the most exquisite thing you ever held
My heart was vacant and you filled it

We lay down together, You were closer than I know
You spoke and your presence dominated every bone in my body
Desire creeps in, I wanted to confess the million things I never had the courage to express
What I’ve been through; what the world did to me

I cried out those times I’ve been damaged and wrecked
that one time I was hurt by a boy, that one time I was betrayed by a friend,
And You told me about that time You carried a cross as tall as double a basketball ring up to a mountain, that time You were whipped 39 times, that one time You were crowned with thorns

I told you about those times life has assaulted me beyond my limits and caused me to give up
And you told me about those times you were mocked, condemned and bruised
I insisted and cry all the more about those moments I felt rejected, despised and unloved
You told me about that one time You were hung on a tree just ’cause you loved someone so much

I wanted to tell you more, the happiest, the saddest, the whos, whats, whens, hows
But You knew already
You knew my past, my fears, my aches, my stages
You knew me more than I knew myself

I love You, a whole lot more than what you think, you said
I was scared, not sure if I can let myself fall
You told me what you went through just to be here with me
How you went to the deepest corners of the world just to find me

I told you how it felt to be unworthy for other people, to always be insufficient
And you reminded me that I am enough, that you created me perfectly
How you composed every feature of who I am, how you carefully mold me
How you lost me to the world and did everything just to have me again

How you traded your life for mine
How you suffered so I can freely live
How you took my fall
How you loved and love me

Assuredly You said, nothing the world can do to take me away from You, ever again
And even if I flee away, once more, You will find me again
You will never leave me, nor forsake me
You will embrace me and keep me forever

Nothing can ever compare to what You did for me
No gold or silver can ever replace to Your faithfulness
No fortune can utterly correlate the way You brought us
No worldly affection can ever equate to the deepness of Your devotion

The night is getting lighter, the sun is almost up
I asked you, hoping it wouldn’t be the last
Why do you still stay and love me, despite all?
And you simply said, ‘Because, you are mine.’ Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Dian is the author of Catastrophes, a prose and poetry collection exploring living and loving, breaking and mending, falling and rising, losing and surviving. Get in touch with her on Instagram and Twitter.

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