Oftentimes, you’ll only realize good things once they’re gone. Like a job promotion or recognition, once you’ve left. Like the man you loved, once he’s long gone and moved on. Like a joyful memory from college graduation, once it’s all over and you’re on your own.
However, those aren’t the only things we should acknowledge and appreciate. There are also other things we usually overlook. Good things like waking up each day, feeling that heart beating right inside your fragile chest. Good things like the fact that today, you get to live, to see through the day, to look at the mirror and see hope. Good things like today, you get to go to work, talk to some friends, and see your beloved family.
Sometimes we neglect these mundane and simple things, moments, experiences because we’re so dedicated in pursuing grander things and experiences we always thought we will get to see in the coming years. But we get lost in these thoughts as we dedicate ourselves to these pursuits and we forget that the grandest moments of our lives are actually happening right in front of us – it’s actually happening right now.
We don’t see it. We don’t mind. Not until it’s all gone.
Gone, as in you wake up one day and you’re all alone. Gone, as in the once lovely home where love is the language and care is the anthem is now just another concrete in a row of deserted houses along the street. Gone, as in the bed where they used to make love and share the happiest, most intimate moments is now empty and intact, that no one will ever lay there again. Gone, as in the once loud kitchen where everyone sits down, dine with each other and talked about how the day went is no more than just a wood that will probably be eaten by termites sooner or later.
Gone, as in the merry living room where everyone watch movies while indulging in popcorn, pastries, and drinks is now just an empty room with four walls echoing the sound of loneliness and regrets. Gone, as in the dishes will never be washed. Gone, as in her favorite dress hanging on the rack will never be worn again. Gone, as in his blue Nikes will always stay on the doorstep where he last left it. Gone, as in his medicine on the drawer will always be in the count of four because he won’t be able to take them in anymore. Gone – as in the things they left will always be where they are now.
Gone, as in the best friend you talked to yesterday is now gone. She’ll never get the chance to wear the pajamas you borrowed from her, again. That you will no longer have those random coffee nights that you were too busy to appreciate then. That you will never get to spend sleepovers and movie dates with her and as you go to her room, her coat will always be where she last hang it. That the pillows will forever smell like cherries, like her hair. That your collection of happy pictures together posted on her mirror will always be just pictures—no more than that. How you wish you were in those moments more than you actually were.
That his scent that was once a reminder of all the times he’s with you now seems to never existed at all. Gone, as in you will never be able to calm yourself around the safest corners of his arms. Gone, as in the comfort you felt, even when everything was quiet, just as long as you’re with him— vanished. Gone, as in you will never get to express how much he means to you, thinking if only you made him feel it before, then maybe he wouldn’t have gone away. Gone as in all the pieces of every feeling, experience and memory you both share are now just the past, gradually fading into thin air.
That the restaurant where you loved to eat dinner at will always be filled with aimless thoughts and what could have beens if only you were able to value what you had while you have it. Gone, as in if you ever meet again, you will no longer recognize him because he’s nothing more than a ghost, a ghost that haunts you to the very last portion of your soul – haunting you with firm heartache and desolation.
Gone like that simple moment shared with a random stranger on your way home. Gone like that incidental conversation about how plants grow better with your previous officemate. Gone like that beggar you met while walking down Ayala Avenue. Gone like that brunch you had with you former college mates filled with laughter and stories –
Like every other memory, moment and experience we let go of, we lost sight of because we’re too busy waiting for the grander moments to occur. Like every other happenings we didn’t get to live in because we’re too consumed.
Gone like ourselves. Like our own lives. Just because we didn’t invest ourselves enough to be in those plain but worthwhile moments.
Thus, I beg you. Don’t wait ’til they’re gone. Don’t wait ’til you’re gone. Today they might still be here, know that they are the good things and probably the greatest things that will ever happen to you. Live in each moment. Live in the now.