Those who didn’t land a Valentine’s date but really wanted one are either romantically challenged or the astrological positions of the planets are trying to tell them something. If all else fails and you feel you’re meant to fly Valentine’s Day solo, consider these top 10 takeaways I gathered since I joined you in the “Who needs an entire love day, anyway?!” festivities.
1. Ice cream is better than dinner.
Dinner is overrated. Ice cream feels better.
2. You don’t need a man when you have a vibrator in your hand.
Did your favorite baby-makin’ song pop up on Spotify? That’s okay—you don’t need a guy to “hit the right spots.” There’s this nifty invention called a “vibrator” that can more than handle your needs. Avoid the random hook-up with “that guy from the bar” because you’re not going to remember his name when you wake up in the morning, and facing that magically half-empty bed will make you feel ten times worse than you did before the bumping of uglies. #truth
3. You need to pamper yourself on Valentine’s Day.
The biggest reason for feeling any resentment, frustration, or even second thought about this effin’ corporate holiday is that you allow the irrelevant thoughts and “awesome” plans of everyone else to take residence in your brain. Fight this attempted mind-meld by making your own plans on Valentine’s. Consider a spa day, get a mani-pedi, do something just for you. Time spent sitting and pouting about what you could do or might have done won’t solve one damn thing.
4. You need to avoid all romantic drama on Valentine’s Day.
If you become a part of any romantic drama on Valentine’s Day, you are 100% responsible. Don’t actively look for opportunities to spread your holiday gloom. Stay at home. There’s no reason to spread negative vibes to other people innocently out and about scoring.
5. You should think about spending time with your family.
Nothing screams LOVE like f-a-m-i-l-y.
6. A hefty dose of retail therapy never hurt anybody.
You may pass an arm-in-arm interlocked couple or two, but cringe not—your wallet is here to save the day!
7. You need to surround yourself with positive people.
No one wants to be around a “Debbie Downer.” Surround yourself with positive single people who are making the most of their alone time. This includes your bestie who just went through a bitter breakup. She swears you two will have fun, but you know it’s just going to morph into a full-on bitch fest. Pass.
8. You need to let go of the past.
The hardest part about saying goodbye to old memories is not getting emotionally hung up. Let shit go and you’ll feel a total weight lifted off your shoulders.
9. It’s time for some self-reflection.
Make a decision to date smarter. For instance, the guy you see every day at Starbucks who you’ve heard gets around. That’s a sign: Don’t touch him. Go for the shy but approachable guy you see on the train headed home from work. He may seem a bit dorky, but he more than likely works a solid 9 to 5 job and will treat you a hell of a lot better than any down-and-dirty coffee-jerking playa.
10. Remember that Valentine’s Day is just one day.
There are 364 others in the year. You will still be single on the 15th, so ease up on yourself the 14th. In other words, you have The. Whole. Year.
You get to move forward, confidently, knowing that Valentine’s Day is over. There are no dreaded Groundhog Day-esque moments replaying over and over again. You now have 12 months to get ready for next year. Go forth and make the most of it now so we don’t have to have this chat again next year.