On Sundays I always visit my grandma, this Sunday I found a couple of old women’s magazines. One of those magazines was published exactly 10 years before I was born and I’m really grateful that I wasn’t alive when that article came out.
The article was titled “Sex and Submission: your formula to save your marriage”, it was an interview to Marabel Morgan, author of the 1974 bestseller “The Total Woman” — I’ve never heard of that woman before today.
Mrs. Morgan preached that in order to get what you want and keep your marriage working, a woman must resigned to her will and basically commit to pleasure her husband, otherwise he will run with the sexy secretary. She told women to be sexually available to their husbands everyday to avoid future conflicts, using sexuality as a means to an end in the couple equation, she never talks how a woman could enjoy sex or promote a healthy sexual attitude towards herself.
She says a woman who’s is viewed as a “sexual object” is a woman who sleeps around with any man, but a wife who is expected to just open her legs to keep her husband happy is doing so as a proof of love. Finally she claimed that any woman could be anything she wanted (there, I agree) even president of the United States, just as long as she remembers that her husband is in charge in the bedroom (there, I completely disagree). I hated Marabel Morgan, I hated the fact that even though she wrote her book 40 years ago, many women still live with that sort of stupid ideas well wrapped in their minds.
I live in Mexico City, I went to college and I work in an advertising agency in a department run by one of the most amazing and tough women I know and I’m thankful for the time and place I was born in, I’m thankful for my parents, that taught me to be an independent woman and valued my education more than anything else, sending me to college to learned something of my choice and not as a way to find a husband.
I’m grateful for my mother who was the first woman in her family to go to college and made sure to always work in her field, teaching me that a woman could kick ass as a boss. And a grandmother who never judged my choices even though we’re completely opposite to her beliefs and was so badass she took care to her family by herself as a very young widower. I’m grateful to live and enjoy my sexuality the way I want it and not as a burden, a duty or a way to get your living room redecorated.
But most of all I’m grateful to never have heard of Marabel Morgan until now.