Why I Didn’t Fall In Love With My Best Friend

When he first greeted me eight years ago, I was a girl trying to create a new beginning. I was broken after the guy of my dream left me without any explanation. It was not the first time I had my heart broken, and so it was only the natural thing for me to promise myself not to fall in love again. After all, I was still young and had a lot of things I wanted to achieve in life. I did not want guys to be one of those reasons to hold me back. So there I was, this girl with a broken heart, trying to mend her life together.

Not only was I broken, but I had also become more cynical and judgmental of any guys around me. I could no longer trust guys easily because I knew that even the nicest one could become a jerk in the end. I witnessed someone, whom I thought was the best guy around, became a cheater with my very own eyes. I witnessed someone, who told me I meant so much to him, disappeared from my life without even saying goodbye. I thought guys like those would never be able to leave me that easily, but they did. So after going all of these things, I lost hope in finding that one guy who would mean and stand by his words for me.

Unlike me, he was never broken. He’s quite the opposite of me, actually. He believed in love and did not know what it felt like to have his heart broken. He was somewhat too naïve and optimistic. He was this hopeful guy trying to win my attention by texting me every day even when he received none back from me. He kept on trying until I finally let him into my life. He became a good friend of mine, the one who knew and listened to everything, including how I cried that one night after I found out that the guy who left me just got together with another girl. He was there, and after a few years, he had become my go to person, my best friend.

Before he left for college, he told me that he’d wait for me. I did not believe in his words then, not a 100% at least, because I still had doubts. He’s the nicest guy I’ve ever met in my life, yet I still did not believe that he’d stay. That’s how much a broken heart changed and affected me.

Fast forward to four years since the day I let him into my life, I looked back at all of the past years and evaluated them. I realized that during those four years, there’s one person who showered me with attention and love much more than what I’ve ever received from other people. He’s the one person I grew up with, the one who knows all of my secrets, the one who never judges me, the one who always puts me as a number one in his list, and the one who never thinks less of me. He never, for once, leaves or gives up on me. He’s none other than my best friend. After remembering all of these things, I found all of the right reasons of why it only makes sense for me to date my own best friend.
 
So it’s been eight years ago since I decided to not fall in love with anyone. And today, I must admit that I really have not fallen in love with anyone, not even my best friend. I never fall in love with him because I did not start the relationship because I was madly in love. I started the relationship because of what I had seen of him, of all the things we had gone through, and because I saw and still see a future with him.

I did not fall in love with my best friend because I decided to walk into love with him.