Love Is The Warmest Color

By

The thing about you is that you aren’t just any guy, you are my guy. You are the kind of guy that has so many things going on right now, but the first thing that comes to mind in the morning when you wake up is me.

I fell in love with you when you still identified as a woman. I knew you would soon come to me about how you were truly feeling, and I knew then that I loved you because I could love things just by watching you love them, and that was a new kind of love for me.

I watched all the bones in your body break and form into something that no one could change, that was beautiful. Your body was a work of art — you couldn’t realize it yet and you didn’t see it, but you were my muse. You still are. You are the first thing I never doubted whenever I looked at you I told myself, “I would take all that pain you have and give it to myself until your heart feels full again.”

One thing I learned about love is that it is the warmest color. For you, I would literally do anything. I promised myself that I would love you as if it were the only thing I’d be able to do correctly. To your mother, you grew up a princess, but in my eyes you’ve always been a king.

I apologize to the parts of you that had to live a lie. I apologize for all the years you had to hear the words “she, her, girl or woman,” because if we’re being honest, that person was never you. You were never a woman — you have always been a man. I knew that the first day we met.

The people from your past never appreciated your soul the way that I do. They came up with excuses as to why they shouldn’t or didn’t love you, and all I could do was come up with all the reasons why you were perfect in my eyes. No one could smile or shine like you.

I think it’s brave that every morning you get up, and even if your soul is weary and your bones ache for rest, you keep on living. I know there are days when you feel like throwing in the towel and giving up, but I am so thankful that you never did.

There’s a saying in one of my favorite books: “I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, and then all at once.” I couldn’t help but think about you. Loving someone takes more than just love. You are one of the few people who naturally brings me comfort — when I am with you I forget about anything bad and instantly feel relief.

You are the first person who ever made me feel comfortable enough to truly be myself. You deserve to never have to guess how much you mean to somebody. I’ve come to realize that your soul and my soul knew each other before we even met; your heart and my heart are very, very old friends.

You have become such an important part of my life and I always want you to know that the you you are now is the same you I was in love with yesterday, the same you I’ll be in love with tomorrow.