1. Not Spending Enough Time Together/Different Schedules.
Particularly in one’s 20s, this can be a killer. The transient nature of our professional lives often lends itself to instability, particularly if somebody is balancing a “pays the bills” job with their ultimate career goal.
If there’s a time disconnect, prioritize the relationship via important, pre-scheduled events like weekly Sunday night dinners — stuff that ensures you’ll get some quality time together without hurting either of your individual needs.
Of course, this should be relatively temporary. If there’s no longer term plan to spend more time together, the ‘ship is certainly in jeopardy.
2. One-sided Communication.
She talking too much? Feel like he’s not saying enough? Communication is always huge, and it’s definitely important to be all caught up on where they’re at; especially nowadays, when job offers and major life changes can materialize over a matter of hours.
All that’s really needed here is a simple “how was your day?” If the communication is still sparse, do some guiding. Ask a few questions about lunch, workouts at the gym, etc.
These are the most crucial, as follow-up questions to what happened at the gym will likely result in them telling you about that giant sweaty guy who grunts quotes from Taken while doing the bench press. And it’s these funny details that keep relationships strong.
3. Dragging Him/Her To Events They Have No Interest In Going To.
He probably doesn’t want to go to Melissa’s pregame with you — you’re gonna be hanging with the girls the whole time, and Kevin’s probably gonna be the only other guy there. And Kevin’s fine, but having to solely rely on him for social interaction?
Implement a system in which you have rotating “not attending” cards. He gets to use it for Melissa’s pregame, and you get to use it when he wants to come over at 3am for a booty call. Obviously there are events that transcend the use of the card (i.e., your wedding), but this can go a long way in establishing honest and open communication; and a weird form of respect.
Seeing our significant others interacting with others with an air of flirtation can be a tough thing to overcome; particularly when it comes to exes and similar “threats.”
Again, the key here is just communication. Don’t accuse, but simply ask about that person like you’d ask about any other friend. You’re now looped into what’s happening, and have therefore established mutual trust. Hopefully.
5. Different Music Tastes.
Quite frankly, it’s a miracle you’ve made it this far.