’21 Questions’ by 50 Cent is a classic, there is no denying that. Every single question perfectly reflects something someone in his position would want answers to. Meanwhile though 98% of men are left not being able to relate. The average joe will never drive a Benz, Bentley or hoopty (hopefully). I mean the question about being locked up for a quarter century is just scary. You being for me mentally better not have to be asked because the odds are against me in there, I’ve seen Oz. Eleven years after Fitty got his chance to grill his lady it’s time for the everyman to get his chance.
1. If I said I liked your sister’s new hairdo will you believe I don’t wish I ended up with her instead of you?
2. When I don’t move from the couch all weekend during football season, will you ignore the smell?
3. Will you trust me when I say you don’t look fat in those jeans?
4. When I snore in bed will you not make me sleep on the couch?
5. If you catch me staring a second too long at another woman would you believe that I just liked her jacket and was thinking about getting it for you?
6. When I put on fifteen pounds during the winter will you not cheat on me with your trainer Chip?
7. If Greg gets the promotion over me will you still love me?
8. If I get you a gift certificate to Applebee’s for Valentine’s Day is there any chance that I will still get any that night?
9. When I’m in Vegas for my friend’s bachelor party will you promise not to check my transactions?
10. Will you want a divorce when I want to name our son Brady Gronkowski Lawrence?
11. If I say another woman’s name in my sleep will you believe me when I say it doesn’t mean anything?
12. When I leave dirty clothes all over the house will you still clean them?
13. When you’re telling me about your argument with Wendy from work will you give me the silent treatment if I say she has a good point?
14. Will you judge me when I’m 45 and still listening to Juvenile?
15. Will you call child protective services when I force our child to be a professional basketball player?
16. When I say I’m at Buffalo Wild Wings with the fellas will you believe me?
17. When your parents come to visit will you be mad when I all of a sudden have to “work late” all week?
18. Will you make me feel manly even when I want to be the one being spooned?
19. If we run into your ex-boyfriend who resembles a poorer George Clooney will you please lie and tell me he looks more like a fat Eli Manning?
20. Will you be mad when I spend my entire Christmas bonus on an 80-inch TV?
21. If I was with some other chick and someone happened to see, and when you asked me about it I said it wasn’t me, would you believe me or up and leave me?
Even though the last one is from 50 Cent himself it works for all men. I know we’re asking a lot here, so ladies if you are fine with at least half of these then that will probably be good enough.
P.S. I love you like I love cake.