The word divorce has a pretty negative connotation to it and for good reason. Only getting to see your Dad every other weekend or having an evil Step-mom isn’t awesome. Despite the obvious tough parts of dealing with being a child of divorce there are some nice positives that they all need to know about.
1. You know what is better than Christmas? Double Christmas. While all the poor saps out there are finishing opening their presents at 10 AM your day is just getting started. Round one of presents is over and its time to go see which parent loves you most. Also parents like to make it seem like they aren’t going to go crazy with presents because you get two Christmases but they’re lying.
2. All of your friends are skipping school one day to go to an amusement park. You know your Mom won’t let you go so you go ask your Dad. He immediately calls your mom, she says you can’t go and that’s it. Clearly your parents aren’t divorced because they act like a team. When dealing with divorced parents it’s the complete opposite. They’re a failed team. That plays right into your hands. So now your Dad is going to steal the ball from your mom and let you go without giving it a second thought. He’ll probably be so exited that you asked him that he will probably even give you some money for food.
3. You know what is better than having siblings? Having half siblings. With half siblings you still get all the benefits of regular siblings. You guys still love and support each other just as much as any other siblings would. What you don’t have to do with half siblings though is spend 24/7 with them. That much time with the same people can be exhausting and lead to constant fighting. The minute you get close to that point with your half siblings you can just decide its time to go home where you can do the same thing with your other set of half siblings.
4. Step parents get a bad rap. Movies want us to think they’re all like the lady in Problem Child. From experience I can say some of them are like that, but the bad few ruin the reputation of the great majority. Your parents have to love you. They produced you so it’s their legal obligation. Step parents had a choice to love you. Obviously they’ve got the ulterior motive of wanting to be with your Mom or Dad but they still knew that you were part of the package. If all goes right you could end up with four supportive, loving parents.
5. If you live with both your parents then most days are just standard days of the week. You’ll see each other early in the morning and late at night. Most days are pretty uneventful. Even weekends are kind of a letdown as your Dad takes you on errands to some of the most horrifying places for children such as Home Depot. Maybe every now and then he’ll take you to a movie. Now when you see your Dad only every other weekend it’s a non-stop party. Your weekends are jam packed with eating out, going to sporting events and buying you some sweet toys or accessories. Divorced Dads know the way to your heart and how to leave you wanting more when they drop you back off at your Mom’s.
6. Failed your English exam? Get a speeding ticket? Immediately you’ll worry about the lecture that is coming your way. This is where strategy comes into play. You know how your parents handle these type of situations. So decide which one will go the easiest on you and only tell them what happened. Throw a few tears or sad apologies their way and they’ll make sure to keep it between just you guys. Then you’ll get off a lot easier punishment wise and might even get a trip to get an ice cream cone.
7. At one point in their lives everyone has thought about running away. For the majority nothing truly terrible happened. Maybe you had a blow up at home and just want to get out of there. Most people’s thoughts of running away end quickly when they realize they aren’t meant for a life collecting cans and living under a tunnel. A child of divorce isn’t most people so they can runaway and go the nice, warm confines of their other parent’s house. You get the thrill of the escape without the consequences.
8. As a child you have no say where you’re going to live unless your Mom is a prostitute with a drug problem. If that’s not the case then you’re going to be living with her. Fast forward though to age 16 and your Mom’s husband got a new job across the country. You’re now faced with having to leave all your friends behind and start at a new school so close to graduation. Luckily you’ve got the option of staying behind to go live with Dad. Now you’ll be sacrificing the joys of weekend Dad, but it’ll be worth it.
9. Like with Christmases and Birthdays you’re going to have multiple vacations per year. You might have so many that you’ll need a vacation from vacations. If your parents live in different states then you’re guaranteed two vacations with summer and Christmas. Then you get to add in each of the family trips that your parents are planning with their separate families. Also if you really have an awesome time on a specific trip and want to go back there just go tell the other parent how it was the best trip you’ve ever been on. Guaranteed within the year you’ll be back on that trip just now with a different parent.
10. Most people that go to therapy likely have already had an incident or valid reasons to seek out treatment. When parents get divorced they like to think therapy is needed for their kids to get through this. Some free therapy never hurt anybody. With this you can either find out ahead of times that maybe you do have some things going on that need to be addressed or maybe you can just have some chill time playing with a stranger’s toys.
11. In marriages someone has to be the tough cop with the kids. Often times the Dad assumes this role while the Mom gets to save the day. Divorced parents never want to be the bad guy especially the Dad. With that being the case it becomes very easy to play them against each other and start a bidding war for your love. “Hey Dad the other day Mom was talking about buying me a used car,” you say. Before you know it you’ll be pulling back up to your Mom’s house with a 2015 Charger courtesy of good ole Pops.
12. When your parents go off and find their next significant others they bring with them a new extended family. While you’ll have to learn a bunch of new names and faces the rewards will soon be seen when it comes time for your birthday. All of a sudden you’re flooded with cards stocked full of $20’s coming from new grandparents, aunts, great uncles and who knows who else.
Sounds pretty awesome doesn’t it? Congrats to all the children of divorce out there and best wishes to all those poor suckers from a loving, happy two parent home.