How Losing Someone Forced Me To Find Myself

girl against a blue striped wall
Elijah Henderson

I’ve spent most of my time relying in the kindness of others rather than my own. This has lead to tragic endings and broken hearts, but there’s a point in life where you realize that you don’t need another person to fulfill your desires, your heart, and your amazing soul. Often, I get asked how I cope with negativism and sadness; people wonder how I can be so strong even through the darkest times. The answer is always the same, self-love has given me the strength and the power I need to get past all the obstacles.

Just like any other person, I’ve dealt with heartbreaks and all the bad things that come along with them. I’ve lost myself in the eyes of another person and in the thought of needing them more than I needed myself. I’ve tried so many times to make other people happy, to be enough for someone, to give them everything on my hands to fill in the loneliness inside of them. All of my effort to become the best I can be, often lead to me being broken.

The word sadness was associated with me all the time and heartache followed me every step of the way.

Some time ago, I lost a person who I thought was responsible for all the strength inside of me, but after dealing with so many emotional traumas I came along another person who made me realize I was wrong, that person was myself. It took a lot in me to discover what I wanted and needed to become the person I’ve always dreamed of finding. I came to the conclusion that I needed to love myself like I was trying to love another person; because,

When you give yourself all the love that you’re trying to give to others you become stronger, you know your worth and you don’t allow others to change you.

YOU are in control and when you take charge of your mind, soul and body. Nobody will take that away from you.

When I learned to love myself, I came across the knowledge a few other things. I learned that other people are not my problem, so I cannot change them, I can only change myself and the way I see them. I discovered that the only person I’m spending a lifetime with is me, therefore I must be at peace within myself. The only person I need to impress is myself, the only person I need to change for is myself, and it is totally fine to be selfish when it comes to finding yourself because nobody is going to do the things for you the way you want them to be done. Think about how great having a person like yourself is, how amazing your talents are and what a beautiful soul lives inside your body. Take all your positive energy and allow it to escape through your actions, take charge of your life and love yourself the way you love others and maybe only maybe you will find the person you’ve been looking for while losing somebody else. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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