In Regards To Being The One Who Walked Away

You never really see articles that are written by people who had the audacity to end the relationship. Confession articles are usually on the point of view of the ones that are left shattered and are still wondering why things ended between them. The world needs to understand we cannot handle every single thing around us, that people do things for a reason, and leaving someone will never be an easy task.

When I was in love, songs on the radio made sense, I was eating a lot and gained so much weight, for me the word ‘forever’ had a positive meaning. I was smiling a lot, I had less pimples and acne and I was genuinely nice to everyone. My siblings would last a month not fighting.

For the longest time I was the happiest girl alive, but who knew that being too happy would cause boredom? It was the same thing for three years, I felt like I was on an endless cycle, and got so used to everything that I wasn’t having fun anymore. I felt that way for about a month and I told him gently about that, to my surprise he was starting to feel the same way. We both chose to stay for a few months after that talk because we thought it was just phase, we gave our love one more chance because things do work out if you put so much effort into them. We both promised we would change for the better because our love deserves that kind of fight. We were three years into the relationship, why would we give up now?

I woke up one day I felt that I’ve had enough so I ended it. I thought I was selfish, but I was solely hanging onto the fact that why on earth would I give up a three-year relationship and the fact that both our families and friends approved of our relationship?

I was more scared on letting down everyone around me that I was neglecting my own feelings. It would hurt him and our relationship even more if I just stayed. My heart and mind wasn’t at the right place. I owe him that honesty because he deserves the all the love and affection in the world.

Yeah, it did hurt you when I left you, but did it dawn on you that it also hurt me? I threw away the greatest love of my life and when I look back, there’s this part of me that wishes that I never left. I wish that you broke it off instead of me because I don’t want to think that it was my fault why things fell apart permanently.

I’m still on an endless cycle; a part of me that still believes we are meant to be together and in the far future we would meet again, but a part of me also believes that I made the right choice in ending things. Things are confusing, but one thing’s for sure: you were the greatest love of my life.