I Crave A Different Love Affair

Troy Freyee
Troy Freyee

As the world moves on and on around me, I can’t help but wonder where I fit in. You see, at one point I wanted what everyone around me wanted and expected of our generation…

Graduate high school.

Go to college.

Work a (well-paid) job. Whatever that means.

Purchase a house.

Get married.

Have children.


I am embarrassed to admit that I even went through the phase of wanting all things nice…errr, expensive? It was all about the appearance – the expensive purses, shoes, and clothes, the fancy dinners, the vacations, blah blah blah. The people that surrounded me placed so much importance on these type of things, so I subconsciously (or consciously) felt the need to keep up.

Until I didn’t.

I stopped caring about keeping up a front through the things I could afford, though I am not entirely sure I ever cared. To live without feeling the need to prove yourself to anyone but yourself, is one of the most liberating feelings, whether it be through your accomplishments in life or the appearance you think you have to portray.

Sometimes I sit on the sidelines and observe with curiosity the way people buy and buy, but their hunger for more never seems to subside. They drown themselves in expensive clothing and fancy cars, large homes and endless debt, and stick to jobs that consume their time into the wee hours of the night. And quietly but not so quietly, stress slowly pecks away at them. But it doesn’t matter because their love for labels and brands overshadows it all. Instead, they escape the stress by traveling abroad for as long as their jobs can allow. And they are fortunate! They are so fortunate to be able to escape to incredible places, yet forget to submerge themselves into the foreign culture that lies in front of them. They come back having learned absolutely nothing about the soil they stepped on, except that their hotel offered room service, free snorkeling, a swim with the dolphins, and unlimited drinks.

Empty vacations.

It is a trend that surrounds me and is all too familiar. It is a way of life; one that I so desperately want to escape.

I crave for something deeper. My soul thrives off new experiences and all things nature. I don’t care to own a fancy car as long as mine runs and takes me to new, unfamiliar places. I don’t care to wear fancy brands and labels — that stuff does not impress me or spark my attention. I don’t know that I ever want to have kids. And I certainly don’t know if I will ever want to own a house I cannot afford today. Forget the 30-year mortgage. Give me a tent and a place to pitch it — that is all I need! Ok, maybe not exactly that.

But what I do know is that I don’t like the feeling of being tied. I have a deep sense of wanderlust that needs to constantly be fed, a nonconforming personality that wants to run wild, and endless curiosity that needs to keep its fire lit.

If I quit my job today, pack my bags and chase unfamiliar horizons, I want to be able to fly away without chains tying me down.

So to the love of my life — the only thing I’ll ever ask is for you to keep up with my wild heart and adventurous soul, because you are the only chain I would be willing to haul. I don’t want the house. I don’t want the diamond. All I want is an equally adventurous life partner to run wild with.

So where do I fit in? Perhaps I don’t.

All I know is that I lust for a different love affair with life. One that doesn’t conform to my surroundings. One that doesn’t want the fast-paced life and the empty possessions. One that instead runs freely and never stops exploring…

So to all the wild hearts. Here’s to continuing to stand your ground despite your surroundings! Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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