1. On the eve of the announcement, everyone involved in Tidal suggested that the common folk change their social profiles to the bright, unbearably teal color. Beyoncé took a while to change hers but that’s okay. She’s probably been onboard since day one and a little tired of hearing about it.
2. The Tidal “trailer” was the most intense few moments since Leonardo DiCaprio spun a top in Inception.
3. Jack White, Madonna, Usher, Beyoncé, Jason Aldean, Jay Z, Calvin Harris, Chris Martin, Kanye, Arcade Fire people, Daft Punk, Alicia Keys, and J.Cole sat in the one room and shared the same air molecules.
4. Everyone you wish you knew was at the release party and none of us were invited. Beyoncé was having fun and when Beyoncé has fun we all have fun.
5. Vania Schlogel is a badass.
6. Rihanna and Nicki Minaj portrayed the like perfect stepsisters that will always be fresher than you. Look at those pastel jackets.
7. Jay Z chose a well-rounded group of musicians. He even included Jason Aldean.
8. Alicia Keys gave a commencement speech and inspired us all. Look at those braids, she’s glorious. Remember the first time you heard, “Falling?”
9. The word of the night was, “wow.”
10. Now we can finally give our money to these select artists. Everyone is already blasting Tidal and saying it’s “doomed” but whatever. They ran a phenomenal campaign. Jay Z for President.