1. When we get rejected it’s as good as questioning our worth.
That one time someone rejected us? That one time people left us? It’s the one time we think we’re never going to be good enough. We go through every memory just to find for the reasons as to why we get shot down. Every memory becomes a slap in our face when we think it’s our fault. Well, it’s not. Don’t beat yourself up because you think you have to change to be liked – or for people to stay. The right people will stay, I promise.
2. Meeting new people and processing in all the things they say and do.
The people who come into our lives and accept us wholly do not fit into this equation. But those who give us quite of the cold shoulder and a bit of the once-over, well, that’s where our problem fixates on. We suddenly rack our brains out with questions like, “Do they know something about me that has offended them? Do some people talk bad things about me and word got out of the street? Do I stare too much or laugh too much?” Most of the time, they didn’t even notice that they had got your mind into overdrive. For them, it was not a big deal and they were just a little shy. But if in the end it’s because they had heard some ‘bad things’ about you, well then, it’s time to prove them wrong. Shower them with kindness.
3. A change in tone in someone’s voice.
I don’t know how we do it, but I think it’s because of how we’re particularly observant with the people around us. We rank people’s voice as to their emotions; and we suddenly feel like if the person we’re talking to raises his/her voice a bit than the usual, he/she is angry. We then sum it up that we have something to do about the change in tone. But more often, we’re just paranoid.
4. Mono-syllabic replies from friends.
We’re not used to our chatty friends indulging themselves in mono-syllabic replies. So when they do, we know that something’s wrong. We begin annoying them with our questions. Well, half of the time they tell you what’s bugging them and the other half, they’re just not in the mood. Either way, you end up going home and thinking about it. The only cure is when your friends talk to you ‘normally’ again.
5. Social media can become our worst nightmare.
People unfollowing, unfriending or disliking us is going to make us question everything. “Why’d you have to unfollow? Did I post something offensive?” We then try to think about the reasons… even when we were not close with those people to begin with. But what if they just accidentally clicked unfollow? Then again, you start thinking about what if they didn’t just accidentally clicked it. Don’t stress over it (although I know you will).
6. We think about the worst scenarios in almost every situation.
Like when our roommate doesn’t get home at the usual time and doesn’t text us, we hop into scenarios which are absurd. And when our roommate does get home, we realize the things we thought about were not even really possible. Let’s not talk about the quiz or presentation for next week.
7. Most of the time, we think about what other people are going to say.
And sometimes forgetting about what we want. We think about how people would react if we go for the things that make us happy. But there are always going to be people who wouldn’t think fondly of you – so maybe we should live a little. Not for them, but for ourselves.
8. Jokes are not always jokes.
We think about a joke a friend dropped two hours ago because we know how jokes are often half-truths. In the end, we just let it go and give our friend the benefit of the doubt but not before analysing if he/she is really a friend.
9. Our mistakes consume our thoughts in the dead of the night.
Sleeping becomes a challenge when you think about that one time you had let a friend down (insert wince) or that failing mark (insert I-wish-I-studied-a-little-harder sigh). No matter how small or huge our mistake is, we still end up lying on our bed willing ourselves – but failing miserably – to stop thinking about it.
10. Compliment vs. Sarcasm
When one compliments us, we can’t seem to grasp if it was the truth or simply the person laughing at how dense we could be. Not only do we doubt others, but we begin doubting ourselves.
11. We’re not sure if the choices we had made are the right choices.
It doesn’t matter if it is between the expensive pens you bought or the course you are majoring in college – in the end, we start thinking if we’re going to regret the choices we made. We live by those choices anyway… since we start overthinking where we’ll end up if we quit.
12. We are mistaken as pessimists.
Since we can’t live through the moment with the devil-may-care attitude, people think we are negative-thinkers. It’s not that we are pessimists but we are realists. We get affected by the little things and so we tend to withdraw from what we think would hurt us. But it doesn’t mean we can’t go ahead and jump head first – of course, we’ll first make sure to bring the parachute.
13. We overthink about how we’re overthinking again.