For all of you college ladies out there who have been able to snag a halfway decent fella, kudos to you girl! I commend you. Really though, I do. I didn’t date at all in high school. In fact, I didn’t have my first kiss until I was 18. Now, I’m 19 and three relationships later (three in less than six months, no less – can you say #taylorswiftstatus?), I have come to an astounding conclusion that there are so many things that are simply so much more fantastic than having a boyfriend. Mind you, my three failing relationships were, in part, due to the fact that I sure do know how to pick ‘em. I have been in a long distance relationship. After that relationship, I dated the definition of “immature frat boy.” Lastly, I dated the definition of “substance abusive immature frat boy” (not that there’s much of a difference between the two species of frat boy.) Nevertheless, six months, three relationships, and plenty of testosterone and immaturity later, I’m happy to say I’m alive and well. I learned a lot from those three relationships, and I learned I’d rather be happy and single than unhappy and taken. With that, I present to you 12 things that beat having a boyfriend in college:
1. Good grades
This is my number one, because I didn’t realize how caught up I was in my dumb relationships until it was too late. This girl flunked not one, but all four of her General Chemistry II exams. Basically, I was lucky I passed with a C. Instead of dealing with drunken frat boy boyfriends, I should have been frying my brain with pages and pages of oxidation-reduction reaction and pH problems. If I would have done that, I might not have to retake that God forsaken class.
This is a given, people. “Grey’s Anatomy” and “American Horror Story” are my go tos. Let me just tell you, my character crushes on Kit Walker and McSteamy are going wonderfully. 1) Because, they’re not real dudes, so they can’t annoy me and 2) Because, they’re so out of my league, I don’t have to worry about actually falling in love with them (then again, that’s a little easier said than done.)
3. Sorority sisters
I’ll admit I entered my freshman year all gung ho on NOT joining a sorority. Now, things like “Bid Day” and “Big Little Reveal” get me about as excited as a thirteen-year-old girl at a Justin Bieber concert. Even more than that, my sisters are by far the most inspirational, intelligent, classy, kind ladies I have the privilege of knowing next to my lovely mother. These 35 sparkle lovin’, “The Bachelor” watchin’, tutu makin’ beauties always give me a reason to want to be a better me.
When I finally discovered Spotify, I was totally and completely in love. I could type in literally any song, and you know what, Spotify has it. Spotify’s got my back, y’all. Indie Rock Playlist? Angry Break Up Playlist? Finals Studying Playlist? No problem. Tell me which one of your exes had your back like Spotify does.
5. A coffee maker
Nothing gets me going in the morning like a hot cup of coffee with cream, sugar, and approximately four shots of espresso. Coffee makers beat lame “Good morning, beautiful” texts by a landslide.
6. Amazing professors
You know those professors who are absolutely brilliant and sorta kinda change your life with their awesomeness? They see every ounce of potential you have. They know how intelligent you are. And, they know for a fact that your self-worth most definitely does not lie in whether or not you have a boyfriend. In fact, they’d probably tell you to focus on you, have fun, and be selfish while you can.
Remember that glorious pin board you’ve created that’s dedicated to your perfect big day? That perfect big day might actually become a reality…when your future fiance’s brain finishes developing around the age of 25. In the mean time, pin it up! Feel free to go all Vera Wang Couture on that pin board. There’s certainly no one stopping you.
8. Chick-Fil-A (or Steak N’ Shake) Milkshakes
I am convinced these sweet confections are a gift from the heavens. They make you feel better when you’re sick. They satisfy your intense (and possibly hormonally related) sweet cravings. And, they just plain make you happy when you “just can’t do life.”
9. A bed all to yourself
Ain’t nothin’ better than not having to wake up to someone with smelly breath, smushing you up against a wall, and taking up the entire bed. I don’t know about y’all, but I like my sleep. I also like my tiny, twin-sized bed ALL TO MYSELF.
10. Staying in
You know what this means, right? Pantslessness, naps, Netflix, and not having to look cute at all. You could wake up looking like Godzilla or the Grudge, and no one would ever have to know. I think that’s pretty incredible.
See, this is where that single life comes in handy. On the off chance that your “peanut butter drizzly cup cookie brownie cakes” suck so bad that, if tasted, could very well destroy even the hardy tastebuds of Chef Gordon Ramsey, only your own tastebuds (and possibly those of a friend’s) will be destroyed. And, luckily not that of a significant other you could be attempting to impress.
12. Guy friends
This is also a given, people. I was lucky enough to have a really great guy friend my freshman year who bought me milkshakes and even brought me flowers after experiencing a bad breakup or after having a rough day. Guy friends, along with girlfriends, will often make you smile way more than the McDreamy in your life could. Besides, McDreamy’s are overrated. And, until someone comes along who lights up your world, enjoy the finer things of college life. You won’t regret it!