1. Going to Happy Hour 7pm on a Friday and seeing everyone #TurntUp is just like going to the middle school Spring dance.
2. HORMONES! Remember the zit on your face in your school picture? Hello decreased metabolism and occasional facial hair! And instead of the stress-induced acne that you could hide with some cover-up some Wet n’ Wild foundation or by missing school, you can’t even call off of work for that big ass cold sore on the corner of your mouth. You just put on some dark lipstick and hope folks don’t ask for a sip out of your straw.
3. Just like figuring out how to get your crush to ask you to the prom, you now try to figure out ways to get “in” with that cutie at work, just so he can maybe ask you what you’re doing after work.
4. Speaking of guys, they are still as confusing as they were back in the day. Instead of going steady, y’all are talking. Do you like me? Yes or No? You no longer hyperventile and reminisce over every detail when he said what’s up as he passed you in the hall; you just lurk at old text messages, hope he likes your photo and favorites your tweet. Or better yet, he just confirms your status when he untags and hides that photo, you suggested y’all take.
5. #Workflow. One of the saddest sites ever is the sullen gaze on folks’ faces during the Monday morning commute. And once you get to work, you are reminded just how your colleagues are caricatures of their high school selves. You can figure out which one of your coworkers was bullied, didn’t have friends, the jock, popular, the weirdo and who still needs to be the center of attention.
6. Usually in the last hour of school, you’d daydream of your next extended break: getting out for winter, spring, and summer. Now, you fantasize just how you can make that break happen. Are you going to go to grad school or will it be maternity leave, should you ever find a suitable something or the other who will just make do.
7. Speaking of pregnancy, your faithful friend still drops by every month. The only difference is this time you don’t fear it will drop by when you are unprepared. You know the exact day and gleefully welcome it, just to confirm you didn’t slip and get knocked up. You might even go out of the way to make sure it doesn’t mess up your grown woman plans.
8. In middle and high school, you had plenty of clubs to join and make new friends-French, Debate, Track. Now, you have plenty of hobbies and networking groups to either meet an SO or get a new job. Co-ed flag football, Yoga, poetry readings, hell, you’ll even go to church.
9. Whenever it was time to go over the assigned reading in school, you knew good and well you only read the spark notes just so you would quickly pose the first question and impress the teacher. At work, you read that executive summary and ask the first question just so you don’t have to pay attention for the meeting, plus you get brownie points with your boss but you quickly regret that move as soon as your boss asks you to work in a group on it.
10. Speaking of brownie points, instead of that eager beaver who would suggest more work or ask to a question as the bell rings on Friday; you have that annoying ass coworker who loves sucking up and staying late, thus, forcing you to put in that unpaid overtime and put on a show acting like your busy
11. Every Monday morning you and your friends would linger at your lockers, telling your friends about how awesome your weekend was. But why tell, when you can show them by posting pics and statuses on instagram, FB and twitter?
12. Your parents don’t drag you to church, but they know how to call you early enough on Sunday to see if plan on going.
13. Remember when your BFF was pretty sure that the world was ending after she made a fool of herself in front of her crush? It’s pretty much the same thing, except you forgot to put your phone on silent and are startled in the middle of the night when that same girlfriend sends you incoherent drunk texts about her drunk texts, or asks advice on how to respond to that “what’s good? ” text.