A very smart and witty truth-telling realtor once told me, “You’ll never have all your boxes checked.” She was obviously referring to searching for your dream home when she said this, but I’ve realized this is true in all areas of life, especially when it comes to meeting the right person.
The perfect human doesn’t exist, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t someone who is perfect for you. As I get older and have more dates and relationships behind me, I’ve learned exactly what the most important things are when it comes to finding my forever person. You have to choose your top few non-negotiables and let the other silly things go.
If you have the idea in your head that you have to be with someone who is a certain height, holds a specific degree, or has a past free of any struggles, you should go ahead and forget about all of those requirements. I’m about to tell you why it’s okay that your forever person might not end up being the exact vision you have in your head of the perfect mate.
Yes, physical attraction is an important part of any relationship, but if height is a deal breaker for you, you’re way too superficial to have a lasting relationship. There is no way I would choose not to date someone who made me laugh, had similar morals and values, and had a love for travel if they also happened to be the same height as me. Who gives a shit?
When you’re old, that will be the least of your worries. You’re going to want to be with someone who will take care of you and someone you can hang out with day in and day out when you’re both retired. Keep that in mind next time you swipe left on someone who is shorter than your typical requirement.
My first love had a seriously crazy past. It was a tough pill to swallow, but it didn’t affect the way he treated me at all, so who am I to brush him aside the second I find out he went through a lot? You absolutely cannot judge someone by their past. It shapes who they become and might actually end up being a good thing. No, I’m not telling you to give every ex-convent or former drug dealer a chance. But if they have been through some difficult things in the past, first make sure they are beyond it all and then don’t be afraid to give them a chance.
I’ll be the first to admit that I’m slightly superficial when it comes to a guy’s career choice, which you might find a little ironic considering I didn’t go to college myself. But having a degree doesn’t make you a better person. I can tell you a handful of extremely successful entrepreneurs I know who don’t have a college degree. But having a dream and setting goals means you have ambition and that is a trait I find extremely attractive, whether you went to college or not. A guy who is comfortable with their job and doesn’t feel the need to work towards anything else is a complete turnoff to me.
Helping each other work toward a dream is something I find important in a relationship. So he never finished college? Maybe that’s because he was too busy starting a successful business and college was going to waste his time. Find out the details before you instantly think someone is a loser just because they don’t have a college degree. I mean, come on. It’s 2016 and young entrepreneurs are taking over the world.
Next time you meet someone who you’re instantly convinced isn’t the one for you just because of a few minor details, keep in mind that you’ll never have all your boxes checked. Find out if they meet the requirements to your most important non-negotiables and if so, give the poor soul a chance.
You’re not perfect and your forever person won’t be either. And yes, that’s okay.