A stupid boy broke my heart, and I hardly had to say a thing. Within minutes of messaging my core group of friends in the group chat, I got a flood of individual messages telling me if I need ANYTHING to let them know. Within seconds of texting my other friends, I got lengthy responses reminding me that I deserve better. I got back to back phone calls telling me that if I needed to hang out at any point to take my mind off of it, to just show up and they’d be there.
I think know I have a tendency to determine my worth based on how a guy feels about me. I am a true believer in love, and I have gone through multiple failed attempts to find it, and every time it doesn’t work out I find myself feeling a new low. I wonder what is wrong with ME. Why didn’t they love me back? Why am I not good enough?
The real question I should be asking myself is “Why do I let myself determine my self-worth based on ONE person’s opinion?”
I think that I have acted unappreciative of my friends, but it’s about time they got recognition. They are the ones that pick me up when someone knocks me down. They are the ones I look forward to talking to after a great day, or a terrible day. They are the ones I can count on when I can’t make a decision. They are the ones that I can say anything to and not be judged. They are the ones that can say anything to me and know they won’t be judged in return.
They are the ones that love me unconditionally. They are honest with me and never mislead me. They always make sure I am put in my place when I’m wrong. They are the ones I never have a bad time hanging out with. They are the ones I miss if I haven’t seen them in too long.
But most importantly, they are the ones that would never treat me in a way that I didn’t deserve.
In searching for my “soulmate” in a guy, I have realized that I have been looking in the wrong place. Guys come and go, and one day I will find someone who I will love for the rest of my life and who will love me back equally, but my friends are the ones who are always going to be here. I don’t have to look for them, because they are already there.
I will never have to worry about my friends ever loving me less than they do right now. They accept me as who I am and treat me like gold. We are together for the long haul and I couldn’t ask for anything more amazing.