If Your Relationship Doesn’t Contain These 5 Things, It Won’t Last Forever

Unsplash Clem Onojeghuo

The interesting thing about getting into relationships in our early 20s is that we are scared. We are scared of rejection or being hurt again.

We want to avoid commitment as much as possible because there are those who take advantage of the love we offer to them and that’s a scary feeling.

As humans, we are not made to hate, we are made to love and feel loved. As social beings, we want to be around others, and spread positivity and affection — but this becomes difficult once emotions, pain, and insecurities start to take over.

I’ve spent a lot of time reading what a relationship “should” be like and what a “right” relationship has. I believe that there is no set in stone guideline that should be followed in order to make a relationship work, but I believe there are specific qualities that every relationship should have in order to thrive.

1. Kindness

I think kindness is the most important aspect that a relationship requires in order to thrive.

Regardless of what relationship you are in, platonic or intimate, kindness should be the core of the relationship. Being malicious and spiteful is a very dangerous way to approach a relationship.

It is possible to be angry at your spouse or your best friend, but express your anger through kindness. No one enjoys being hurt, so I think it’s important that every relationship should have the ability to spread kindness.

Unfortunately, this becomes difficult when there are two people in a relationship, and only one of them is being kind, which explains why we start to become angry and hurt.

I believe that if you are in a relationship where you are the only one who is kind, and your kindness is being taken for granted, the wise thing to do is to leave.

Obviously this becomes difficult once emotions come in, but everyone should know that there is someone out there who is ready to appreciate all of your generosity and kindness.

2. Communication

I cannot stress how important communication is. I know this is a cliche, but it’s true. Whatever emotion you are feeling should be expressed.

As humans, we do not know what is going on in someone else’s mind.

Gestures, body language, and how we text are good indication that something may be wrong or right, but until we start talking and understanding one another, we will never be able to have a successful relationship with the important people in our lives.

3. Patience

We have all been in a situation where our significant other, friends, or family have made us very irritated, and all we want to do is rage.

Again, this is not the intelligent. We have to understand that there are going to be people who are going to annoy us and irritate us, and we can choose to stick around and work around each other — or we could leave.

If we decided to stay, we have to be patient when people’s bad habits become annoying. We all have those traits that may rub people the wrong way, but finding those who stay and know how to deal with our interesting characteristics traits is pretty awesome.

It makes us feel like we are important and we matter. I detest people who lose their patience quickly, because to me, it shows that they are incapable of handling what the relationship is going to go through in the future.

We have to be patient, we have to be levelheaded, and understand that we are all humans.

4. Respect

I don’t care who it is — how rich or poor they are or how many accomplishments they have — absolutely no one has the right to disrespect you.

If someone continues to disrespect you in a relationship, you need to leave.

The reason why I think respect is so important is because it shows me how important I really am to you. Respect is important because it shows that you are taken seriously.

There is no need to be around people who are putting you down — people who makes “jokes” which are very offensive. I find it very interesting that when people are being disrespectful and malicious and they become aware that they have offended someone, they go, “Oh i was kidding” or “well I talk like that to everyone.”

If someone is speaking to you or treating you with disrespect, there is no need for you to continue with that grotesque relationship, because it becomes very exhausting.

There is no point in surrounding yourself around people who are constantly critiquing you and thinking they are better than you.

Personally, I can not tolerate people who talk to me like they are above me. I think it’s insulting because it reflects how low I am thought of.

If you respect someone, you are not being condescending, ignorant, and cynical towards the other person.

True respect means appreciating and thanking those who are in your life. It means being a positive person who spreads positivity, not narcism.

Respect is shown through a variety of different levels and if you are not getting the respect you know you deserve, then you should start thinking whether that person in your life is really important.

5. Forgiveness

The past is the past for a reason. There is no need to bring up previous fights or situations in a positive relationship. You should only think about the future.

Every time I think about this, or tell people to let go of the past, I think of Orpheus and Eurydice. After Orpheus went into the underworld to try and get his love, Eurydice back, Hades told Orpheus this could be done as long as he did not look back at her until he entered the light.

Since this is a tragic love story, Orpheus impatiently looked back before entering the light and lost the love of his life forever.

Moral of the story is that looking behind you and not being patient can be dangerous. It could lead to future problems that will never be solved. The best thing to do is look ahead, and look toward the future.

Again you should be with someone who loves you and all of you. Someone who loves your good and bad traits.

Most importantly, you should be with someone who makes you happy 100% of the time. Thought Catalog Logo Mark 

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