Heartbreak: something so universal yet so uniquely individual. There are songs and self-help books written about it. There are cliche movies about picking yourself up from the floor and coming out even stronger. Throughout all of these, there remains an important lesson: Eventually, you will get over it.
Everyone talks about overcoming heartbreak, but the acknowledgment of heartbreak seems to be missing. You break up with someone who encompassed the majority of your day and you go back to being strangers. You start to figure out how to be alone.
It’s this process where heartbreak becomes bittersweet. The truth behind it is that not everyone experiences it the same way. Some find solitude in being able to dedicate all that energy and time that they spent on someone else on themselves. Others lay in bed for weeks, refusing to eat and closing themselves off from the rest of the world. However uniquely the process comes to you, the aftermath of heartbreak is not important. What’s important is not rushing the process. It may hurt, it may cause you to lose sleep and your sanity at times, but there comes an understanding from that pain. It’s tragically beautiful.
I never understood heartbreak until I went through it. You watch movies and listen to songs about it, but if you haven’t personally experienced it, there will always be a disconnect. It wasn’t until I was tossing around at 4 a.m. and losing weight from my lack of an appetite that I fully understood what heartbreak was. Even though I had an amazing support system and surrounded myself with people that genuinely had my best interests at heart, I felt alone.
It’s a process where you have to learn to forgive yourself and find yourself at the same time. It by no means will pass quickly, and you will have more bad days than good ones sometimes. But never view yourself as a failure for acknowledging your emotions and allowing yourself to feel them fully. Stop focusing on the result and take it one day at a time. Most importantly, do not compare your process to someone else’s. It’s easy to feel discouraged when it seems as if it’s taking you longer than others. Maybe your ex already moved on and you feel as if you’re stuck. The only thing that matters is your healing process and allowing yourself to understand every emotion that’s running through you. Understand the reason for these emotions, whether they’re anger or disappointment, and learn how to express them in a healthy way that will not compromise your healing process.