For some, makeup is just part of a normal everyday routine. Get up, shower, throw on some mascara and lipgloss, and call it a day. No more, no less.
For others, including myself, makeup is not just a routine, but a luxury. It’s basically our religion. For us, “treat yo’self” doesn’t mean a decadent dessert, but rather, a trip to Sephora. We’re always after the latest products, and we scour beauty blogs for all the insider tips and tricks.
But you don’t get to “makeup guru” status without fighting some battles along the way – some are frustrating, some are silly, and some are downright gross.
Here are 7 major struggles for the girls who live and breathe makeup:
1. We legit have permanent eyeliner.
I’m not talking about the crazy tattoo eyeliner that some people voluntarily get, but rather, the side effect of wearing black eyeliner every day for years and years. No matter how much makeup remover we use, it never all quite comes off. Multiply that by 365 days a year for 10 or more years, and that’s a hell of a lot of product. When we don’t put on any eyeliner for the day, people think we’re still wearing some. Insert hair-flip emoji here.
2. We die a little inside when people say, “But you don’t need makeup – you’re already beautiful!”
Listen, guys and girls. Let’s just abolish this phrase from our vocabularies entirely. We know we don’t “need” it. We want it. And there’s a difference.
We don’t feel a desperate need to put on makeup every day; it’s simply part of our style. And we enjoy the process of applying makeup, experimenting with new shades, and finding different looks. We also really hate it when people imply that girls who wear makeup are insecure. Since when did you become a therapist? Can we see your psychology degree?
In short, thanks for the sort-of compliment, but don’t imply that we rely on products in order to feel beautiful. Bye.
3. Our bathroom sinks become a biohazard after a few days.
With every makeup application, a little bit of product slips off our brushes and falls to a quiet resting place in our bathroom sink. In just a few days’ time, a thin layer of bronzer, eyeshadow, brow powder, and god knows what else has coated the shiny white porcelain of the sink.
It’s gross, sure, but it’s our own mess, so we don’t feel any urgency to clean it until it starts to resemble someone’s failed science project. Having friends drop by unexpectedly and then ask to use our bathroom will send us into a spiral of panic and shame. We can’t exactly be like, “Uh…wait, let me just Lysol that sink real quick.” Instead, we have to suffer the embarrassment of our friends seeing just how disgusting our makeup addiction is.
4. Lash extensions sound great in theory but they are a time and money suck.
When lash extensions became a thing, it was impossible not to give it a try. Unfortunately, our wallets and watches don’t like it as much as we do. A set of lashes at a reputable and safe establishment is definitely not less than $200. Ouch.
Not to mention the fact that the first-time application requires at least two hours of laying perfectly still while a stranger pokes and prods at your eyes. Alas, we can’t all be Kardashians. At least, not without spending a lot of money and a lot of time.
5. Sneezing after putting on mascara is THE WORST.
Ugh. Nothing sucks more than applying the perfect layer of clump-free mascara, only to feel a sneeze coming on. You try to fight it – you do everything possible to stop that sneeze from attacking, including dumb tricks from elementary school, like saying the word “peaches” three times in a row.
But no luck – that sneeze will find a way out, and when it does, your eyes will involuntarily close, and your perfect mascara job will be smudged all over your eyelids. Bonus – this always seems to happen when you’re running late. Always.
6. The wind always seems to know when we’re wearing super shiny lipgloss.
When will we ever learn that applying lipgloss before walking outside is never a good idea?
It always starts innocently enough – you’re walking down the hallway to the front door of your apartment, and you catch sight of your bare lips in the hall mirror. So you reach into your purse, pull out your lipgloss, and put the finishing touches on your face. Then, once you get outside, you remember. Wind + lipgloss + hair = torture.
You spend the entirety of your walk picking strands of your hair off of your lips, and when you get to your destination, your perfect blowout is sticky and matted at the bottom. Fail.
7. We’ll never understand why some people think that girls wear makeup to impress boys.
Let’s get one thing straight here – no matter how intelligent a man is, and unless he has a freaking job in the makeup industry, he’ll describe a girl’s look as “natural” without having any idea that she spent thirty minutes applying a perfect contour. Most men don’t even know what an eyelash curler looks like, for crying out loud. If a girl is putting on makeup to impress anyone, it’s definitely another female.
Or, more likely, she just likes how she looks with it on. End of story.