9 Little Ways You Know That Your Friendship Is Lifelong

There are people who circle around you, filling various categories in your life, overlapping their days with yours. You cross paths with them every day – in the break room, on the train, or even electronically on social media. The interactions feel like a live wire – fluid, always sparking, constant. They light up your routines – you know them as co-workers, classmates, teammates. You can list them on your fingers; if you’re lucky, you have to use both hands more than once.

If you are really lucky though, you have at least one friend who has known you for as long as you can remember. You know that this friend will be with you for the rest of your life. You know this almost subconsciously – it’s the thing you are actually most sure of. This person is embedded in your heart in the deepest of ways, permanently tucked underneath corners.

Here are nine little things that let you know you’ll always have each other:

1. You feel like you’ve known each other since birth.

Even if you actually met in college, it feels as though you two have been friends all your lives. There was never that awkward “getting to know you” stage; you were obsessed with each other right away. The early conversations in your friendship brought on the eeriest sensations of deja-vous; you had been here before, somehow. You’re not sure if you believe in past lives, but if it turns out that we get many chances, it’s almost certain that this person was in every single life you once had.

2. She knows your darkest secrets.

If you two were ever to break up (but of course you won’t) she would have the biggest pile of blackmail dirt on you. She knows everything, from the most minor embarrassing moments to your absolute biggest regret. She remembers your first crush in middle school, and how you passed him that humiliating note in math class. (Do you like me? Check yes or no.) She knows the worst thing you have ever done – the thing that you feel like you are absolutely, 100% going to hell for. However, there’s nothing that you feel ashamed of. You know you can confess anything to her and she won’t judge you for it – she’ll listen with the ear of someone who truly loves you unconditionally.

3. You talk in code.

You have code phrases for everything. You refer to other people by secret names, have weird catch phrases, and you also have pet names for each other. Your old crushes are named for characters on tv shows, and you reserve the most abominable names for your most hated exes. (Voldemort…Sauron…etc.) Your text messages are littered with emojis that mean very specific things. You can send her one frowning devil face and she knows exactly what’s going on.

4. Even if you are miles apart, you find ways to do things together.

Geography has no hold on your friendship. Whether you’re physically separated by a few town lines or entire oceans, you find strategies that allow you to be emotionally unified. You’ve honored the art of the handwritten letter and engaged in pen-pal correspondence, decorating the envelopes with inside jokes and meaningful quotes. You set your DVR’s so you can “watch” your favorite shows together while rapid-fire texting your reactions. You have dinner parties while facetiming, and it’s like you are in the same room.

5. Your shared nostalgia runs deep.

One of your favorite things about this person is your overlapping histories. You are bound together not only by the present, but by both of your pasts. You both remember events in the same way, envisioning the memories in the exact same color. Reminiscing is one of your favorite activities. Whenever you go home to your parents’ house for the holidays, you can’t wait to rummage through your room for old photos or funny letters you wrote to one another. You do this not only to indulge in your own trip down memory lane, but because you know it’s just as meaningful to your best friend. The very act of remembering is another shared experience to be had.

6. It’s not necessary to talk every day. Or even every week.

You two don’t need to be in constant contact with each other to know that your bond is strong. Sometimes one of you is super busy, and that’s okay. You know that you’ll find time to catch up eventually, even if it’s only for 20 minutes over g-chat during your lunch hour. You respect each other’s time, and you never take anything too personally.

7. When something good happens her, it feels like it’s happening to you.

Jealousy can plague a lot of friendships, but not yours. Instead of envying your friend’s successes, you’re excited about them. You feel butterflies when she describes her amazing first date – it’s like her excitement transfers to you almost instinctively. When she gets a promotion at work, you automatically feel like celebrating. Your friendship isn’t marred by resentment. For every positive emotion that she feels, you mirror it.

8. On the flipside, you share in her sadness.

It’s hard to describe, but you feel like you are both comprised of the same emotional pieces – one soul in two bodies. When something painful happens to her, a fragment of your heart aches as well. You’ll mourn the love that she’s lost with a raw sadness, and she’ll grieve the passing of your grandmother as though she’s lived a childhood identical to your own. You both feel everything so heavily; it’s a blessing and a curse, but one you would never trade.

9. When you see her for the first time in a while, it’s like nothing has ever changed.

It happens – sometimes you go for weeks, or months, without seeing one another. You wish you could see each other more often, but life gets in the way. Plane tickets are expensive, work schedules are jam-packed – adulthood is filled with reasons for everything.

When you do finally reunite, it feels like absolutely no time has passed. You pick up right where you left off every single time – and this is how you truly know. This is the kicker, the bottom line, the solidifying factor. If time – the very thing that dictates our lives – has no influence over the strength of your friendship, you will never be without this person. Together, you’ll write a thousand stories with the knowledge that there will always be another chapter, another sentence, an epilogue.