Hi, my name is De, and I’m addicted to dyeing my hair.
(This is where you guys say, “Hi, De!”)
My first venture into the glorious world of hair coloring was when I was 13. Of course, my mom didn’t want me to dye my hair, so I had to sneak around. I went on a mall trip with my camp friends one summer, made my way to the haircare aisle of CVS, and bought my first box of dye: L’Oreal Feria, in the reddest hue I could find. I waited until an evening when I was alone, and I followed the directions on the box as best as I could. An hour and two shampoos later, I was a bona fide redhead.
Dyeing my hair that first time was the equivalent of opening Pandora’s Box. I was hooked. There was no going back.
Luckily, I know I’m not alone. Here are seven common thoughts that run through the dye-soaked brain of a color-addict:
1. “Does anyone make a hair-dye scented candle?”
The chemicals in hair dye create a unique smell. Much like gasoline, it’s a polarizing odor. Tbh, most people probably think it’s gross. The majority of humans probably do not enjoy the way it pierces all the way through one’s nose, but for addicts such as myself, it’s a scent that signifies excitement and anticipation.
2. “I can do my own ombré, right?”
Hopefully you’ve talked yourself out of this if you have ever thought it. Ombré is magical, and everyone should try it at least once, but those at-home kits are bad news bears. Leave the teasing and foiling to a professional, k?
3. “My life will not be complete until I try lavender hair at least once.”
There’s something about lavender hair that seems like the coolest thing ever. Maybe it’s because it reminds us of fairies and mermaids, and there’s something undeniably appealing about magical creatures. Of course, unless you’re born with white blonde hair, attaining purple status cannot be done without serious bleaching. Which brings me to:
4. “This new color is worth an hour of stinging and itching.”
It takes some serious commitment to sit still with a full head of bleach for a prolonged period of time. If you’ve never tried it, imagine that there’s an army of fire ants making camp in your scalp. It’s like that, but worse. However, as all color-addicts know, it’s the price to pay for a fresh hue.
5. “Do blondes have more fun? I’d better find out.”
If you are anything other than a natural blonde, lightening your hair several shades is a lot of work. There’s a natural tendency to wonder what you’d look like as a beachy babe, and for those who can’t get enough of the dye, chances are you’re going to experiment. Back during your high school days, you relied on Sun-In and hydrogen peroxide to help you answer this burning question.
6. “I basically need to become Jessica Chastain / Emma Stone / Debra Messing. #Goals.”
When the redhead bug bites, it bites hard. Red hair is mysterious and alluring, and there’s always a celebrity whose auburn locks create some serious mane-envy. You worry briefly about your hair turning brassy, but then decide that it’s worth the risk.
7. “This hair color is the start of something new.” (Cue Zac Efron & Vanessa Hudgens singing karaoke.)
Although it’s a cliche as old as the word itself, you love to change your hair right before embarking on a new journey. You want your outer appearance to reflect how you feel inside, and you are feeling fresh and new. Because you change your hair color so often, you sometimes find yourself characterizing parts of your life by the color of your locks at the time. Sophomore year was red, junior year was black, etc. You feel like you’re turning a page when you go to the salon, and in a way, you definitely are.