According to popular belief, humans are quite complex. They feel a thousand different emotions, entertain a gazillion thoughts every single day, and somehow still manage to wake up every morning, doing it all over again. Not to forget, humans have innumerable responsibilities and most of the ‘free time’ is passed by contemplating about the future and the past (and definitely NOT the present). Not generalizing, but I do witness a lot of them whining about their lives (and existence) every single day and yet, humans consider themselves superior than every other species. We are above dogs, cats, lions, tigers, and even the Blue Whale! (Or so we believe).
But, If you could take a group of individuals who are backed against the wall and are standing absolutely still and somehow, look deep into their interior, you’ll see individuals who are actually quite…simple. And fragile, of course. You’ll see individuals who at their very core, are trying to seek pure happiness and love. Obviously humans are strong and unbreakable, but at the same time, there exists fragility. And that fragility makes us human (or so I believe).
It’s not that we are complicated; it is that we need kindness. We need someone to hold our hand and gently say, “I know you are trying your best and it’s okay. Go take a break. I believe in you. I am proud of you.”
But can we really expect another human being to always hold our hand and say those comforting words to us? Well, if you’re ‘lucky’, you might just have someone 24/7 to hold you when you’re breaking, but eventually that angelic person would have their own life to live as well.
So, whom do we turn to when we feel that our soul has eaten itself up and our cells have lost the energy they used to carry and all that we really want to do is keep lying on the bed (or the floor) and never get up again?
From my personal experience, I have always, by default, turned to myself. If I go back in time, I’ll see that even though I have tried to run into the arms of my friends to console me, I have always come back to myself. And it is my own body that has picked me up despite being crushed under the weight of life. During all those processes, self-love has rushed to help me, however, I could never reciprocate. Yes, I could never reciprocate that love and strength I had received from my body and soul. At least not for more than a few months.
It is now that I have realized that the problem was in my perception of self-love.
I used to think that self-love is a destination; something you work on and finally arrive at and then you’re free. Obviously, I was wrong.
Love, in general, is not a destination. You don’t fall in love with another person and then ultimately ‘arrive’ somewhere and stop working on the relationship. You fall in love with them more each and every day. You cultivate the love.
It’s the same with loving your own self; cultivation is the key.
However, what we can’t ignore is that this love is also surprisingly difficult. It’s not easy to look at yourself in the mirror and suddenly feel love flowing through your veins, but it’s also not impossible either. I am on this ‘self-love journey’ for quite sometime now, but what actually made me realize my own importance and worth (and the necessity of this love) was the fact that I am always going to stay with myself, no matter what. It was like an epiphany.
It’s crucial to realize that only one person is guaranteed to stay with you till the end and that person is you. Even if all the people whom you love go different ways, this body and heart won’ t leave you, ever. In fact, they stay alive for you!
For how many other people can we say that?
You have always been your first best friend and your first lover. The body that you inhibit cherishes every fiber of your existence and constantly works to make sure that you wake up every morning (yes, even on the days you don’t want to). And this body deserves your love. This body has been dying for your love. Understand that there is an unrequited lover inside you and that lover can overcome the greatest obstacles. It can be subjected to unbearable periods of growth and can still come out of it shining and stronger than ever. THIS love needs to be reciprocated with great power and kindness. This love is worth it all.
You have a relationship with yourself since day one and will continue to have it till your last day. This relationship, as much as all the other relationships that you have in your life, deserves to be nurtured. In fact, it deserves to be nurtured at extraordinary levels.
So, don’t go looking for love and happiness in other people all the time because you won’t necessarily find what you’re truly looking for. If you keep running after lovers you’ll miss the time you ought to spend with yourself. You might not miss out on sex, but will definitely miss out on the most crucial part of your life: You.
Lovers can wait, self-love shouldn’t.
Please do yourself a favor and just sit down for 20 minutes. Trace back your life. Look at all the ups and downs. Pride and forgive yourself for what you have done and haven’t done. Talk to yourself. Spend more time with yourself. Do it.
It’s not easy and it doesn’t happen overnight. Just like any other relationship, you need to make conscious efforts towards this love too. And I promise, this relationship will stay. Always. The lover inside you will never leave you.
I believe that we all carry inexplicable potential to fall in love with ourselves and harness the energy that is buried deep within our bones. I believe that one day, we all will revisit that young, enthusiastic and overly ambitious person within us and give him/her all our support and attention. I believe that we all will manifest our phenomenal strengths to such an extent that they will spread across the entire Universe and maybe, the Universe will look down at us and celebrate what we have become. And then, Homo sapiens will finally grow from within
Today, I just want you to simply imagine. Imagine you are looking at your stark naked body and appreciating everything that it is. You are speaking your opinions out loud without giving a second thought to what-others-will-think. You are enjoying your own company, away from the phone. You are unapologetically yourself.
Imagine you are the best version of you.
And now, know that this version has existed at every point in time and space.
Don’t worry, we are in this journey together.
After all, we are all a work in progress.