5 Ways Men Wish Women Would Approach Dating


What I love most about coaching women is feeling like I am getting to share with them all of the secrets about men that men never tell them. I have always loved being able to give women a tour inside the mind of a man, so that they truly understand men and how they’re wired.

Here is a perfect example of how I get to do this. A woman reader of my blog asked me a question the other day that I felt I absolutely NEEDED to address not only with her, but with ALL of the women out there.

She asked me this, “David, If I stare at a man, won’t he think I’m coming on to him?” You know what my answer was to this? So what! Men and women are wired very differently. 

It was the fact that she even wondered about this, though, that led me to see that for women to change their dating life they need to learn to think like a man.

Here are five reasons why all of you women out there need to learn to think like a man in your dating life:

1. Men are NOT wired like women.

We don’t think about every little, tiny thing. If our elbow itches, we scratch it. If you we have to blow our nose, we blow it. We don’t wonder why our elbow itches. Men don’t make these things any more complicated than that.

2. Guys don’t search for the “why” in everything.

Men don’t need to find the deeper meaning (or assume there is any deeper meaning) in everything. If a woman’s elbow itches, she wonders “Why does my elbow itch? Did I do something to make my elbow itch? Did I eat something that made my elbow itch?”

Women have to find out the “why” for everything they do and everything that happens to them. “Why does this guy like me? What does this mean?” It doesn’t mean anything!! You have to think like a man!

3. Men have a “language.”

If you are attracted to a man, smile at him and stare at him. But, more importantly: speak “man!”

To “speak man” means that you need to be obvious — we need you to be obvious. If you’re obvious, we’ll walk over like a puppy dog. We don’t want to sit there, thinking and wondering all night long what you’re casual two second glance means. We encourage you to smile at us and talk to us.

4. Men aren’t thinking what you think they are.

Stop trying to anticipate a man’s reaction to you based upon how, you, as a woman thinks. Women so often assume that men are thinking a certain way about how women behave, and women so often are so wrong! If you look at us, we are not thinking that you’re easy. All we are thinking is that you are looking at us. Really, that’s all! We are, in fact, so glad that you’re being obvious enough for us to get it that we almost want to high-five you!

5. Men are totally OK with you being obvious.

Ladies, if you want to meet men it’s time to wake up! What I mean is that you not only need to start thinking like a man, but you also need to change how you interact with men based on this knowledge.

So, start smiling and be obvious!

You’ll have more men coming over than you’ll ever want to date. If you continue to play coy, you won’t get the boy. If you’re tired of staying home alone on Saturday nights, then you need to realize that nothing is going to change until you change your energy.

If you want to meet men, what I suggest is that you start thinking like a man! Why after reading dating book after dating book are so many women still confused about men? Because most every dating book is written by women … if you want to learn about men, you need to talk to a man!

One last question: When is the last time you saw a man to whom you were attracted, and you took a risk by smiling at him and getting him to come over with the powers of your femininity? If it’s been longer than a week, then you’re not doing it right. 

It’s time to start to think like a man when interacting with men! If a man doesn’t approach you and talk to you, it is because you either didn’t know how to bring the man over or you didn’t do anything to get him to approach you. Start taking responsibility for your own dating life, and you’ll start improving it immediately!
 Thought Catalog Logo Mark

This post originally appeared at YourTango.

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