The process of picking a Facebook profile picture has become increasingly cliche. Should I choose something funny? Ironic? Genuine? Touching? Shamelessly self-promotional? Do you think this picture of my 2nd grade class will get more “likes” than the one of me on Spring Break in Cabo?
With more and more of our social and professional interactions moving online, we’re able to carefully and meticulously present ourselves in ways we can’t in the 3-D world. Unfortunately, this hyper analyzing of what our Facebook picture says about us has created a sad catalog of stock images we all shuffle between. Here are a few that should be laid to rest in 2014.
1. The Selfie
It doesn’t matter how good you think your hair looks or how much you can perfectly simulate a mixture of the “I don’t give a shit,” the “I’m over this” and the sexy “come hither” look, making a selfie your Facebook profile picture just tells the world that you’re sad, lonely, and don’t have any real life pictures of yourself where you don’t look possessed or fat.
2. The Headshot
Keep your perfectly lit hair, maniacal smile, and v-neck off social media.
3. The Baby Photo
Please reserve those precious baby photos of you and “Grandma” for family photo albums, attic storage boxes, or #tbt Instagram posts.
4. The Celebrity “Lookalike”
I know you think you look exactly like Anne Hathaway but you don’t.
5. The Pet
I remember clicking “accept” to your friend request not your Shih Tzu’s.
6. The Celebrity Two Shot
Just because you want the world to know that you and your parents attended $2,000 a plate fundraiser doesn’t mean that you’re close personal friends with Barack Obama, it just means you’re a douche.
7. The Facebook Dummy
The only place for male/female silhouettes is a public restroom sign.
image credit – Jeremiah Owyang