11 Signs Your Diet Isn’t Really A Diet

kevin dooley
kevin dooley

1. You portion all of your meals and count your calories during the week, but give yourself two “cheat days” on the weekends where you eat whatever you want (times two) plus your weeknight meals as late night snacks.

2. You are convinced that Chipotle can actually be diet friendly if you order right. It’s 100% organic and you only ask for a “little bit” of sour cream.

3. You went on Craigslist looking for a Stair Master and ended up paying 35 dollars for a hand delivered, blackmarket “Cronut.”

4. You put Splenda in EVERYTHING … unless it already contains sugar.

5. You joined a gym, but have never been past the first floor because that’s where the ellipticals, vending machines, and stretching mats are.

6. Your diet has “started tomorrow” every Sunday for the last six months.

7. You’ve tried “Atkins”, “Paleo”, and “South Beach” but nothing works. You no longer believe in a “one size fits” all approach to dieting.

8. You changed your Starbucks order from a Caramel Frappuccino to a Caramel Frappuccino light two months ago, which makes you feel better about the fact that you ask for whipped cream and caramel drizzle.

9. You know every Froyo place within a 10-mile radius of your home and place of work. You don’t feel guilty for having a frequent buyer card because it’s a probiotic, low fat, and you only get the healthy toppings.

10. You keep a copy of Bethenny Frankel’s bestselling book, “Naturally Thin” on your bedside table. Unfortunately, you’re using a “P.F. Chang’s” take out menu as a bookmark.

11. When people ask how your diet is coming, you always respond with, “I’m doing me. And right now, that’s enough.” Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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