I feel you. I feel your frustration and I understand your pains. I am not blind to your heart ache, nor am I oblivious to the restlessness inside your mind. I am sorry that you didn’t win this one. I am sorry that you couldn’t make it happen with the other. I am sorry that sometimes things literally just aren’t meant to work.
I’ve made the same mistakes. I’ve confused a lesson for a soulmate. I’ve tried and tried and tried to keep my cool. To hold things together, to preserve and improve the relationship that was never there. The relationship that never existed.
For two years I’ve tried to forget. For 24 months I’ve tried to convince the other. For 104 weeks I had those wild and crazy dreams. And for 730 days I was a complete fool, misguided and infatuated with the idea of what we had.
I know what it’s like to have a seemingly inextinguishable desire for another human being. I know what it’s like to have the fire inside you grow and burn at two or three or four in the morning. And I also know what it’s like to have that same fire extinguished by the same person who fuels it.
And like you I also struggle. Tell me; how are we supposed to move on? How are we supposed to just stop thinking about it?
I’ve met strong people, guys who can bench press hundreds and hundreds of pounds and deadlift hundreds more. But those guys have never set foot in a gym compared to the people who are strong in the mind and able to accept and understand that it was never them and that it never will be them. Those guys have never set a foot in a gym compared to the ones who can actually and just simply move on.
The only thing I can really tell you do to is to let it hurt. Let it hurt until it can’t possibly hurt anymore. Let it hurt until you get so sick of being in that state that you finally want to make that decision to get better. To start focusing on other things, to start seeing other people and to start doing things for yourself.
I just hope that you someday come to terms and be at peace with what could have happened but never did. I hope that you one day stop wishing for this person like little children wish for their favorite toys on Christmas Eve.
I hope one day their presence, their memory, their voice, all of it. I hope one day it means nothing to you, because only then I’ll know you’re in peace.