How did you get over me? Because I can’t get over you.
Tell me about how refreshing it is to not be shackled down by the memory of how happy I used to make you. Tell me about your mental clarity and your ability to be okay with the fact that I am just some guy it didn’t work out with. Because I am really not okay that things didn’t work out with you.
Tell me about how you don’t miss me, because I don’t remember what it feels like to not miss you. I’ve been missing you for so long that it’s just become a part of me. I want to be able to go days, weeks, even months without thinking about you.
Tell me about how you don’t wake up paralyzed at three in the morning after an utterly realistic dream that can never happen. Tell about the frustration you don’t feel. Tell me about how you’re able to sleep through night. Because I still wake up. Because I still have these dreams. But I really don’t want to be having them.
Tell me about what you did to get over me, because I am struggling to get over you.
Was it a decision you made? Did you wake up one morning and tell yourself “that’s it, no more”? I’m wondering only because I make decisions every day at the office. My job depends on my ability to make decisions in a fast paced multifaceted in environment. But for some reason making the decision to not think about you is something I simply can’t do.
How did you do it?
Did you find another person to get lost in? Did his lips take your mind off me? Maybe I should find another woman to distract me. Maybe I should text those tinder girls back. Maybe I can kiss them the same way I used to kiss you. Because you know what they say: The best way to get over someone is to get under somebody else.
I know magicians aren’t supposed to share their secrets but this is one that you have to share with me because I’m desperate to get over you. I don’t want you running through my mind anymore. I don’t want to daydream about dancing with you. I don’t want to keep hoping that maybe you’ll change your mind, that maybe you do see a future in us.
I want to be able to view what we had as part of the millions and millions of insignificant things that happen every day around the world. I want to be able to ignore your texts, and not reply to your emails. I don’t want to keep feeling hopeless and pathetic. I want to be able to move on from you like you moved on from me.
I want to. I really do.
But I just can’t.