Here’s a secret about men: we want a woman who’s cool with who she is. What we don’t like is a woman who tries to be who she’s NOT.
But here’s some warning signs that maybe you’re not cool with who you are (or that who you are really isn’t cool at all).
1. She has an ex-boyfriend that never really went away.
I’m not just talking about a current boyfriend; I’m talking about the ex, or the guy who didn’t call back. If you’re trying to impress a guy, leave the other guys out. Best case scenario, you’re talking about us next. Worst case? He’s better than us.
2. She talks about food, but doesn’t eat it.
Men like women who like food; men also like women who are in good shape. Yes, men know they’re somewhat incompatible. So, if you’re going to talk about food, then eat it, too!
Or, don’t talk about it at all and order a salad. Don’t be the skinny person who brags about how “badly” they eat, because men know you’re lying.
3. She holds back what she really wants to say.
Men like a woman who knows what she wants. If you’re holding back telling him what movie you want to see because you’re worried he’ll hate you, he probably doesn’t want to see anything with you. Because who worries what a lame guy like him thinks?
4. She tries to change him.
No one’s perfect. Everyone needs to grow, and especially early on. If you want him to be a different guy, then just find a different guy. It’s as easy as that.
5. She talks a LOT of sh*t.
We all gossip about our friends, there’s no doubt about that. He should probably think your friends are cool, but if you portray your friends as not-so-great, what does that say about you?
6. She’s super-judgmental.
Don’t like the restaurant? Don’t like the waiter? Don’t like the way the girl at the bar talked to you? Fine. Do you like anything?
7. She lacks confidence. And it shows.
If he’s already out on a date with you, he thinks you’re cool. Please, don’t try to cover up or hide yourself. I promise you, men want to know you. And if they don’t, you don’t want to know them.
8. She continuously apologizes for no reason.
Please apologize if you accidentally spit on me, or dump red wine on me. That’s just polite. But whoever convinced you that you need to apologize for anything and everything is a dick. And men don’t want to feel like you’ll be apologizing for them later.
9. She’s looking for love, but acting like it’s a job interview.
My best relationships all defied my expectations. But this conversation always feels like a negotiation. Men are looking for a relationship, not a job. Save it for when you interview personal assistants.