We all know the stereotype that women love bad boys because nice guys whine about it all the time. But there is some truth to the stereotype. A recent study showed that men with “bad boy” traits such as disagreeableness, narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism did indeed have more romantic partners than humble and agreeable guys.
While I am not suggesting a guy become a bad boy (or that women date them), nice guys could learn a thing or two from bad boys—minus the jerk behavior, of course.
1. Bad boys will talk to any woman they meet.
While a “nice guy” is quietly building up the courage to talk to the woman from work he has stared at for months, thirty bad boys have already hit on her. The odds are pretty good she has begun dating one of them, while the nice guy is still mentally preparing to talk to her.
The narcissistic bad boy has no problem using a lame pickup line on a hundred girls a month. And even if 99 girls reject him, that one success a month will put him ahead of the nice guy who is too afraid to talk to any girls.
2. Bad boys are confident.
Most people don’t like cocky guys. However, most of us like whiny, needy, and pathetic guys even less. A bad boy may be bad news in many ways, but his cocky “Who cares what anybody thinks of me?” demeanor is more attractive than the “Woe is me, I can’t get a date” attitude of some nice guys. In terms of attracting women, narcissistic overconfidence beats crippling insecurity any day.
3. Bad boys are charming.
Psychopaths aren’t all criminals. In fact, there are more psychopaths in business leadership positions than in prisons. Psychopaths are often well-liked and manipulative charmers, and they know how to use humor, charm, and compliments to make a girl feel good, even if they don’t mean any of it. The bad boy has already won a girl over with his charm before most nice guys can get an awkward “I kind of like you” out of their mouths.
4. Bad boys will talk to even the most guarded women.
Every guy who has ever gone to a club is familiar with women who get dragged there with their friends, hating every second of it. They glare at any guy who so much as looks like he is going to approach them. This scares off most guys, except those men who are so self-centered that a woman’s hostile body language doesn’t even affect them.
The bad boy approaches these “difficult” women, turns on his charm, and occasionally connects with them. It is not just the case at clubs. Bad boys will approach girls that other guys are afraid to approach, including those women that other men have determined are “out of their league.” Why is that really pretty girl with a bad boy? Likely it is because a “nice guy” was too afraid to talk to her but a bad boy wasn’t.
I am not saying we need more bad boys in the world, but we do need more confident guys who are willing to approach all types of women, talk to them, and get to know them. So long as this process is left only to bad boys, they will get the most dates.