PSA: I’m Trash, Thank You For Listening

Do you ever walk down the street and see a big pile a trash. It’s huge and you don’t work for the city so you have no idea when it’s going to get cleaned up (if at all). You go about your day probably never thinking about it again until suddenly you see ANOTHER big pile of trash. Once that second one pops up you might think “man, I should really do something about that big pile of trash”. Still, you’ve got a life to live. A life that doesn’t have time to think about big piles of trash that are apparently everywhere.

But have you ever considered the possibility that you’re Trash? That you’re responsible for all the garbage everywhere?

I have, so today I’m here to apologize

I’m not responsible for ALL of the trash that’s piling up in town. If I was you could call me “Trash King: King of trash”, but I’m not so please don’t call me that (or any of my friends and family). With that said, I’d like to admit that I am at least somewhat responsible for all these piles of trash lying around everywhere. I’ve been told that it’s bad to pour oil down your kitchen sink when you finish cooking, people won’t clean up my messes, and that my neighbors hate it when I throw banana peels on their grass (even though they’re biodegradable which is smart talk for “throw that shit on the grass”). I still do these things though. And the only logical reason why is because I am trash.

It all makes so much sense. I smell, my room is always messy, everywhere I go I see trash, and I’m constantly throwing little piles of trash into big piles of trash practically everywhere I go. I don’t want to be a trash person, but the first step to not being a trash person is finally admitting who you really are. This entire time I thought I was David Ayala – A decently looking creative person living in a cool city. But now I know that I’m Trashy McDumpster-Pants – A decently looking creative person living in a cool city who is trash. For this, I am sorry.

Maya Angelou once said “We’re all trash. Trying not to be is what makes us human.” Even though that quote is made up, it still rings true. I’ll do my best to be a cleaner man, hopefully a trash FREE man. Until then, I’ll be taking baby steps until one day I’m basically Mr. Clean. A decently looking creative Black Mr. Clean.