How Being Nice Sometimes Messes You Up

Flickr / Ed Schipul
Flickr / Ed Schipul

I had a very enlightening talk with one of my closest friends at work earlier which made me realize that I’m still a loser and need to learn a few things.

I learned that I have to appreciate myself more and know my worth.

I have to know what I actually deserve based on my own expectations and not try so hard to always become what others expect me to be.

I have to know when to hold it in and when to just let it go.

I have to know when to keep going and when to rest.

We sometimes do so much for other people that we forget ourselves. And this defeats the purpose of living a full life.

You cannot always remove yourself from the equation when trying to be a good human being. Soon enough, you may find that you have so little of you left to even care about anything.

And that’s really when things start to go haywire. That’s when you start to question why everything doesn’t make any sense.

And you keep thinking, you’re just trying your hardest to be nice. Fuck, being nice shouldn’t be so fucking hard.

But part of being nice is being nice to yourself, too. And that involves yes, caring for people who you love, but also not putting up with other people’s bullshit and speaking up when someone is being unreasonable to you.

It is exhausting and unhealthy for you to keep tucking away your feelings inside just because you don’t want to hurt another person’s feelings.

There’s a right time to try and fight off the pain and act OK, but make sure that you won’t get yourself in that same situation that got you hurt in the first place. Otherwise, it is your fault you keep suffering.

It’s not easy to change but I firmly believe everything that happens in your life can be under your control.

Dream beautiful things but wake up and create your every moment.

You always have a choice. When you say that you don’t, that right there is your choice.

Own up to it. The only way you will be able to move forward from a challenging situation or change your life even just one bit is by taking control and taking responsibility for every little thing that happens in it.

It is not somebody else or some thing that makes you who you are. The moment you blame it to anything else, that’s when you lose control of your life.And that is—you guessed it—still your doing. You chose to lose control.

Again, know your worth, not based from what anyone else thinks. And care for others, but most importantly, love yourself, too.

The first step of winning is to admit you’re a loser. That’s when you start learning. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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