It’s Easier Not To Fall In Love But It’s Not Always Right

Allef Vinicius
Allef Vinicius

Just ‘one last time’ I say to myself before I surrender to intentional pain. I loved the feeling and I still do – not falling in love but pain. Do I sound a little psychotic? It’s actually pretty normal – if you ever watch someone fall out of love with you, or someone who steps on your love and regards it lesser than their worth.

It’s a heart wrenching feeling. So I started to wonder why we bother.

Falling in love made me feel desperate, foolish actually. Perhaps I was asking for too much, but I didn’t want anything else but for you to allow me to love you. Maybe that was too much.

For the first time I was in love and my heart fluttered uncontrollably. Like any other human, he was a boy with a past and I loved him for who he was. I remember my pathetic attempts to ‘coincidentally’ bump into him or spend the morning trying to look a little tat prettier to get noticed. After a while I just wanted to be with him or at least look at him from afar, just seeing him made me feel some sort of happiness. It hurt so badly on the last day I saw him. He knew but ignored how I felt.

I didn’t want to put myself through a second time of loving someone who never loved me back. It’s one thing to be in a one sided love, but another to be rejected without even confessing. 

Falling in love could be the worst thing.  It took my mum not more than days to write her ‘suicide note’ – he fell out of love with her and that was it. She wished so badly to be the body on the river and it was more than enough to convince me that I didn’t need love. I despised how people fell in love to decide later they didn’t actually love you. It’s selfish and I’m not up for that.

Have you thought about why you actually have to get your heartbroken? I mean think about the amount of time you have to invest on to heal from a scar you were able to avoid in the first place. If you don’t fall in love, you don’t have to worry about getting your heart broken. 

Hold on a second, if broken hearts were fixed like a broken bone, maybe we wouldn’t feel the need to stop loving.

I don’t understand the concept of falling in love anymore. Is it the idea of falling in love? Or the feeling of being in love? Or just the fact that that person is why you can’t fall asleep at 2.12am?

Your heart breaks a little, but it’s totally worth it.

Then again if you told me I had one chance to recover my broken heart, maybe, just maybe I might take a chance at falling in love.

Refusing to fall in love does not mean you can’t love . Be dearly in love with your family. They love you back no matter what.  My mum is still here with me and I love her for that.

Learn to differentiate the type of love – if it’s good or bad for you.  There are happy couples who found reasons to fall in love.

You can’t help but be a little foolish sometimes. 

If his stars match yours, don’t hold back. Fall in love, and be in love — like crazy.  TC mark

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