1. “Would you turn that thing off?”
She says about his XBox during a marathon Gears of War session.
He says about her phone during dinner as she snaps selfies (which include her dinner).
2. “I’m gonna be in here awhile.”
She says as she goes into the department store fitting room.
He says as he goes into the bathroom.
3. “What an ass!”
He thinks, when he’s leering at some girl’s curves.
She thinks, describing the guy leering at her.
4. “I don’t usually do this sort of thing.”
She says as she proceeds to expertly execute a kinky sex move.
He says to his fifth lap dancer of the night.
5. I’ve got to get this pair!”
He thinks, when he’s playing poker.
She thinks, when she’s shopping for shoes.
6. “Stupid hair!”
He says as he applies Rogaine to his scalp.
She says as she applies Nair to her mustache.
7. “What have I done?”
She thinks after a bad cut and color.
He thinks after exchanging his wedding vows.
8. “Did you see the moves on that guy?”
He says to his buddies while they’re watching football.
She says to her gal pals while they’re watching the dance floor.
9. “I need more space.”
She says as she ponders her closet.
He says as he ponders his relationship.
10. “Well, maybe just one more…”
He says before eventually polishing off a 12 pack.
She says before eventually devouring an entire box of chocolates.
11. “I’m keeping it until it comes back in style.”
She says about a ridiculous outfit.
He says about a ridiculous mullet.
12. “I can never find anything in here.”
She says as she fishes in her purse for a pen.
He says as he searches the fridge for the jar of mayo that is directly in front of him.
13. “Check out that rack!”
She says to her friend after spotting a display of dresses that are half-off.
He says to his friend after spotting what a half-dressed woman has on display.
14. “I haven’t had a bite all day.”
He says while on a painful fishing trip.
She says while on a painful diet.
15. “I’m just not in the mood.”
He says when she suggests watching a chick flick.
She says later that evening when he suggests they fool around.