1. We are beings who are attached to emotions, not the person itself.
We grew up realizing that we have become used to that person that one day without talking or seeing him/her feels like a long time. Eventually, we come to realize that we don’t miss that person, but we do miss the things we do together and the stories we shared; we miss the personal connection we once had.
2. We cling on to memories that will never happen again.
Much like emotions that constantly remind us of being human, memories allow us to relive a special moment: the things you see, hear, touch and say. We cling on those things that always reminds us of what it feels like to be with that person; only to find out that it won’t ever be the same again.
3. We are constantly struggling to find strength to get through the day.
Living with the fact that you used to talk to each other every single day, it’s hard to imagine going through a day without contact. There’s a constant inner battle between living through the day without contact and the urge to snap out and just crawl back to the past.
4. We overthink. We count the endless should have, would have and might have beens.
We are constantly hounded by what ifs that haunt us forever. We live by the fear of never trusting someone that much, again. Ultimately, we breakdown at every thought of what could have been.
5. We enter into an unending battle of crawling back into their lives, only to make things worse for ourselves.
After exhausting ourselves with countless battles of what ifs, we resort to surrendering, and just crawl back into their lives and feel normal again. Easy solution to the problem but most of the time, this will only make things worse – it undermines ones capability to think straight and forces oneself to rely heavily on others.
6. We realize that it feels different to go on a day without them and it is actually a good, liberating feeling.
Falling out may be the worst feeling as of the moment, but there’s a lot more things to be grateful about. The fact that people are there to support you and be there for you, the new environment you’re in and the new faces you’ve always ignored. It feels to start anew and begin writing a new chapter of your life.
7. We find out that we’ve been ignoring a lot of other people who is willing to help us and be there for us.
Nothing beats the feeling of renewing your relationship with old friends, friends who have always been there but often overshadowed by a more powerful connection. It’s nice to rekindle good old memories and start creating new adventures with these people.
8. We learn to focus on doing things we like to do, be it reading, baking or whatever stuff that we used to love doing alone.
We all have identities far beyond when this friendship had started, so we just need to retrace our steps and start re-doing things we used to do; focus on things that will eventually help you forget and move on.
9. We start to appreciate the little things that give us a reason to smile and live life.
We learn to cherish the details of our surroundings– the blossoms falling down the tree, the busy underpass that never gets empty and the tall buildings that mirror the society we know have. Small details give us a reason to live and enjoy life.
10. Finally, we realize that everything will fall into place at the right moment, maybe not now, but at least that’s work in progress.
We all deserve that little pat on the shoulder for a job well done. We all know it’s hard, but at least we know that we are making progress, and if all things align, we’ll be out of this mess in a blink.