25 Things I’ve Learned During 25 Days Of Unemployment

Ah, unemployment, the time where you get to relax and chill all you want, the time where you don’t have to worry about waking up to the sound of your alarm, the time where you go back to square one and find a career that will really bring you the happiness you’ve been seeking for your whole entire life. Most of all, unemployment is the time where we contemplate and know more about ourselves, and what we really want to happen in our lives; what’s the meaning behind our existence in this beautifully cruel universe. Okay, enough with the pseudo-philosophy talk. Here are 25 random and not-so-random thoughts/realizations/epiphanies I’ve had during the past few weeks of my not-doing-anything-just-trying-to-get-my-shit-together act.

1. Closed-minded people tend to get their feelings hurt in an instant. Gosh, better talk about things that they’re only interested in, so as not to offend their aching hearts.

2. “Runtastic” is such a fantasic app for running enthusiasts. Hence, the name. Wow, they are clever.

3. Indie music is not so bad after all.

4. Poking random people on Facebook will not initiate a poking battle. “Who the fudge is this annoying chick? I’m just gonna block her”, is probably what’s on their mind.

5. “Tinder” is the platform for horny guys (and maybe even ladies?). I thought it was a myth at first. Tried it, and holy crap was the legend right all along.

6. There are two types of assholes. One is someone who denies that he is one, and the second type admits that he is one, and has the balls to apologize for it.

7. Friends are there to cockblock you when you need them.

8. What good is a hot dude if he has that stinky-ass attitude?

9. My level of sarcasm has gotten too far to the point that people think I’m just dumb. Gosh, someone save me from this monstrosity before it’s too late.

10. Strangers would randomly strike up a conversation with me. Next thing I know, they’re talking about pregnancy, diabetes, etc. I mean seriously, am I that therapeutic? I’m flattered, I guess.

11. I don’t know what it is about me that little kids find appealing. Could I be a clown in my past life? Hmmm.

12. Drinking coffee before going to sleep has become an unhealthy habit for me. Thank God it ain’t alcohol though.

13. Having read various nonfictional stories from people who’ve deactivated their Facebook accounts for good, I had to see for myself if it really was as rewarding as they testified. Tried it for a day and yes, it was awesome. Gonna try it for a week and see where this move will take me.

14. People will do almost anything to gain “likes” and followers on Instagram. I guess they just wanna “fit in” with the trend. Can’t blame them, though. This is the sad state of reality we’re in.

15. Important matters are no longer being covered by the media. It’s all about the Kardashians nowadays. What’s wrong with this world, really?

16. Kids are no longer kids. Last week, I encountered a girl about fifteen who dressed up like she was a trashy 20-something chick, showing some serious PDA action with a guy much, much older than her, and I’m just sitting here thinking about where to buy chocolates later.

17. People you meet via social apps would get upset if you post lies about yourself. Oh my, who would’ve thought that not being yourself in the technology world would hurt someone you don’t even know? Such an amazing world we live in, yes?

18. “9CHAT” is the app to grab if you wanna meet and greet fellow sarcastic and awesome human beings from around the world.

19. Watched “Just Friends” for the nth time. It will always be one of my all-time favorite Rom-Com movies. Anna Faris is just hands down hilarious.

20. Staying at home for too long will drive you nuts. No wonder I always find myself wanting to go out all the friggin time.

21. Wine tastes better as it ages. Brewed coffee, on the other hand, tastes better as we age.

22. Running while listening to hardcore metal will certainly boost your speed. No joke. Tried a “running & song genre” experiment last week (made that name up, btw). I have to say, angry songs really set the mood if you wanna run faster. Kinda makes you feel like you’re trying to save the world, or that you’re being chased by a flock of zombies. Damnit, I need a life. But seriously, try doing it and you’ll notice your pace improving.

23. A guy will only look for you at one in the morning for one simple reason: he wants the V. “Aww, that’s sweet. He’s thinking about me even at this time,” uh, no, girl.

24. You know you’re a hundred percent virgin when an image of a male genitalia still disgusts you and just makes you laugh nervously.

25. I miss paychecks.