This Is What Happens When You Love Yourself Before You Love Anyone Else

Love yourself before you love anyone else.

Because it is you that holds the key to your own happiness. Not someone that can’t appreciate what they have when they have your undivided attention. Not someone who can effortlessly break your trust without you being even so much as a passing thought in a fleeting moment. Love yourself so when someone shows you how easy it is for them to discard you, you won’t need to chase or beg them to stay against their will and you will heal from them without needing another to soothe your pain.

Rely on yourself to be the one who picks you up when you are broken. To be at peace with every flaw and every scar you bear. To heal from your past and to stand proud with everything you have endured and accomplished.

Be true to yourself and you will never need the truth again.

Make it your one and only life mission to know your self-worth. To be the person that can follow their intuition and not be scared to let something or someone go that no longer feeds their soul. To know when your happiness is in jeopardy and to take action without putting anyone but you first. To sense when someone is trying to dull your light because they want to make theirs shine brighter and to find the courage from within to not let yours fade away at the hands of someone else.

Never give someone more than you are willing to give to yourself. Because at the end of it all, you will feel content and whole in the knowledge that you didn’t lose yourself to someone who didn’t deserve to find you in the first place. You won’t need to continue the search for the missing fragments of your heart, because it will have remained your property throughout, protected and encased in your own love and respect.

When you take the time to love who you are unconditionally, to spend time in your own company, you learn what you want and what you don’t want, what you are willing to accept and what you aren’t. You discover how to respect yourself, and when you respect yourself, you will form boundaries that others won’t dare to cross. You create an invisible chalk circle around you that will make you feel magic. When they see your bright, white light that radiates from within, they will be drawn to you. They will admire you. Some may try to sabotage your truth with their jealous, poisonous tongue, but you will smile graciously, wish them well, and walk on by.

Loving yourself is not arrogant, it is a necessity. It is a gift that doesn’t come easily, but when it does, you will never want to let it go. You will smile differently. You will laugh differently. You will feel differently. You will love differently. There will be no desperation to make people see who you are, because if they don’t, that’s okay. Not everyone is supposed to see you. You will see yourself and you won’t need validation from anybody else because you are enough.

You learn to enjoy the sound of “no.” You no longer apologize for the things that were never your fault. You hear your thoughts and feelings and you honour them without anybody’s judgement making you doubt your integrity. You learn that sometimes, people are not meant to stay in your life because you are on different paths but you thank them for being a part of your growth and are not afraid to see them walk away. You cherish the memories and the lessons they taught you and use them to flourish into the beautiful swan you are destined to be.

Relationships will become more about quality rather than quantity. You will refuse to settle for anything less than you deserve. You will find solace in being on your own. You will learn that being on your own is better than being in a relationship that makes you feel alone. You will learn that when someone hurts you, this has nothing to do with you but everything to do with them. It is not your place to fix them or to forgive them because you are every bit worthy of being treated with respect. You will continue to search for your tribe no matter how long it takes walking the road on your own.

When you practice self-love, you are telling the universe that you are ready to align with all your wildest dreams and hearts desires. You have taken the time to work on the most precious person in your life: you. You’re telling the world that you have grown into your own skin and are ready to receive in abundance. Because when you love yourself, you will only attract those who are on the same vibration. You will acknowledge your repeating patterns and recognize that nothing will ever go away until it has taught you what you need to know to unlock the next level in this game of life.

Loving who you are is the hardest lesson of them all. You’ll look at yourself in the mirror and every ounce of vulnerability you have will wash over you. A million negative thoughts will fill your mind, but you’ll quiet the noise. You’ll stand strong, and without turning away, with tears streaming down your face, you’ll gaze into your eyes and tell yourself, “I love you.” When you hear those words, for the first time in your existence, you’ll know they won’t ever be taken away from you again. You will realize it was you who you had been searching for all along.

About the author

Just a simple girl, with deep thoughts and a colourful past!

Follow Danni on Instagram or read more articles from Danni on Thought Catalog. Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page.