5 Ridiculous Pieces Of Advice About Relationships We All Need To Effing Forget

c.matthias kügler
c.matthias kügler

Honestly? We all need to stop reading the “why you should be selfish” and “why you should sleep with him/her on the first date” articles and start thinking with our heads.

Instead of justifying why you should be selfish by sharing an article, you should be proactively producing ideas to combat selfish behavior; instead of thinking about why it’s okay to have sex with a stranger, you should be analyzing the situation, person, and environment that is causing the action to occur.

The problem with our generation is that people have lost the ability to think about any situation, encounter, conversation, or relationship outside of the immediacy it presents. Relationships, with both friends and significant others, have deteriorated under the pretense and idea that this one person is not good enough. I think we all need to ask not what is wrong with the other person, but what is wrong with the way you think about them and about yourself when you’re together.


1. “It’s fine to sleep with him on the first date.”

Of course it’s fine to sleep with him on the fist date if that’s what you’d like to do, but don’t think that this act makes you a strong, independent woman. There is much more to these two terms than exerting your promiscuity. Everyone has the freedom to do with their body what they want, but do not wonder why he doesn’t call you before 9 PM ever again or doesn’t want to take you on a date or to meet his parents.

If you never want to build a relationship with this man outside of the sheets then, carry on. But, the reality? If you slept with him on the first date, you most likely did the same with others on the first date. No respectable man wants a woman who has slept with the whole town.

Now, I’m sure all of the women reading this are growing more aggravated because of the double standard that exists between men and women and yes, it is unfair. However, the reality is that this is the world we live in, so stop believing and telling yourself lies. Being a strong and independent woman is not the same as being promiscuous. You have to respect yourself before a man will.

2. “Your 20s are the years to be selfish”
Last time I checked, being selfish was never a good quality to possess. When describing qualities that your best friend or significant other has, you’re not going to enthusiastically throw in “selfish.”

Why? Selfish people cannot exist in healthy relationship because (as we all know) relationships contain more than one person. So, lets stop trying to be selfish and start thinking about ways to be a generous person that people actually want to keep around.

3. “These are the 50 things you need to do to make a relationship last.”

If it were as easy as memorizing a list, breakups, divorce, domestic violence, fights etc. would not exist. Stop reading a list to fix your relationship and start opening your eyes to the person you’re dating. The reality? The only thing that can make a relationship last is love.

Yes, that one word that everyone seems to cringe at. If you broke up, odds are you didn’t love each other. Love encompasses kindness, selflessness, care, happiness; it requires two people who are willing to work at a relationship because it is worth it. If they’re not willing to work, you’re not worth it in their eyes. The end.

4. “Women in this generation aren’t marriage material.”

There have always been women who haven’t been “marriage material” in men’s eyes.  But, believe it or not, you don’t have to marry every single woman.  Instead of blaming the woman, it may be better to ask yourself why you keep saying that they aren’t marriage material.  The problem may not be with her, but with you.  However, like I said above, if she slept with you on the first date, we all get why you may say that she isn’t fit to be a wife.  The reality is that there are tons of women who would make extraordinary wives and if you haven’t found any of them, you should probably look for a different type of woman than the ones you have previously been with. Think past just sleeping with her that night (I know its hard.)

5. “These are the 9 chivalrous habits that true gentlemen have…”

Well, this is easy.

Chivalry was a term created to describe virtuous knights in the mid to late 1200s. Women, if you want men to put on their metal armor and act the same way that they did back then, don’t forget that means that you have to take on your role too: i.e. get in that kitchen, start cooking and be ready to bear tons of children. What people really mean when they say chivalry is dead is that respectful actions no longer occur.

So men, it’s simple, just don’t be selfish (as said above) and you should have no problem opening a door for a woman or giving them your jacket if they’re freezing. Women, if men aren’t exhibiting these normal kind and respectful behaviors, let them go because they don’t think you’re worth wasting the extra effort on. It all comes down to respect, so try it out or be unhappy and alone. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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