Q: What’s the best thing to say to someone who’s in an interracial relationship?
A: Nothing that you wouldn’t say to someone who’s dating within their race.
You’d think it would be obvious, but alas, people can say some pretty stupid things when it comes to interracial dating and relationships. Read on for some common things people hear when they’re in an interracial relationship (that they really could do without).
What do your parents think?!
“People ask my daughter, ‘Have you always had a thing for Asian (or black, etc.) men?’ ‘What do your parents think?’ ‘Are you worried how the kids will look?'” – Dana, 54
I was in an interracial relationship once…
“One thing I get a lot of is women who want to tell me all about the black boyfriend they had in college whom their parents made them break up with. Another thing we both get is, ‘You must be so proud of Barack Obama!’ Why? He’s not OUR bi-racial child.” – Alina, 44
Could the men in your race not handle you?
“I’d get things like, ‘So, you’re dating a white guy because a black guy couldn’t handle you as a strong women?’ Uh, thank you, but no. From his Hispanic side of the family, they’d say, ‘Why don’t you just settle down with a nice Latina girl who will cook for you?’ So, you’re saying I can’t cook?” – Jasmyn, 25
Inappropriate references to white … members.
“I’ve dated a few white guys who were German in the past, and I’ve had numerous black guy friends always say, ‘Oh … I guess you like that German white sausage!’ Not funny actually …” – Chandra, 29
You’re so brave.
“My hubby and I have been married for 14 years – he’s black and I’m white. There are many things we hear (and see) from others regarding our interracial relationship, but the thing I hear most and would like to change is, ‘You are so brave to go out into the world together. Good for you!’ I know that it’s meant as support and a compliment, but I do wish it wasn’t ‘brave.’ What else are we to do? Hide away because we’re different? No thanks!” – Tsara, 39
I’ve gotta get me one of those!
“I am black and my husband is white. One of the funniest things I have heard regarding my interracial marriage was from my sister (who is black and is married to a black man). My husband was about to leave for the store and he gave me a kiss and said he loved me, and after he left, my sister said, ‘Dang….maybe I should find me a white man!’ My response to her was, ‘Jerks come in all colors – I just have a great husband!'” – Nicki, 35
Are you the nanny?
“I’m sure you two voted for Obama (of course we did). Lisa gets, ‘Are you the Nanny?'” – Matt and Lisa, 42 and 45
The Crazy Eyes’ “Swirl” Reference.
“From white guys: ‘So … you’re dating a white guy, huh? I’m down with the swirl too.’ From black guys: ‘Why are you going out with that white boy? I’m not good enough for you because I’m black?'” – Holly, 40
Is the sex different?
“I dated a black girl for a while in college and often got asked, ‘Was it more … rhythmic?’ True story!” – Mike, 31
It’s bad for your children, apparently.
“I am in an interracial couple, and my aunt once told me that she is against interracial couples because their children ‘don’t know what they are.'” – Michelle, 26