Lately, I’ve really started to pay attention to the little things in the media. I have been trying to zero in on the little throwaway lines that are used. These lines are usually spoken in an offhanded manner and quickly dismissed to go onto another part of the conversation. And one line keeps coming up over and over — the one line that’s really beginning to irritate me.
More than (seemingly) ever, you hear women saying “I don’t need a man.” It is a focus in many movies, especially more recent ones. Sadly, I’ve also heard it spoken by several women outside of fictional plots. I’m not sure if I’ve ever said it, but if I have, I take it back. Not only that, but I believe it’s a load of crap.
Perhaps you don’t need to be in a relationship to have a baby and you may not need a man to help you provide for or raise your child, but at some point in the “creative process” you’ll need one. Even if you were to use artificial insemination and never meet the father, you still needed a man to provide his sperm.
Which begs the next question on your mind: aside from getting knocked up, do you really need a man?
Well, maybe not, but that doesn’t make the modern saying any less irritating. I’ve often heard heterosexual women say it and it’s important to know that they’re full of shit. While the saying holds some truth, it’s absolutely not 100 percent. (If you’re a lesbian, surely makes sense that you’re the exception to the rule.)
I have a friend who I once heard speak these words. Ironically, this very friend was so desperately trying to find one at the time. She wanted to have a good man to love her, and in the way she pursued it, you would think she, in fact, did need a man. If she truly believed that she didn’t need a man to bring her happiness, she wouldn’t have been searching so hard. Period.
The other day, I heard the results of a study. After surveying a bunch of women, somewhere between 60 and 80 percent, many claimed they could truly be happy without finding love. These were straight women, of course. And obviously, they were all lying — to themselves and everyone else.
Admittedly, I’ve said that I’ll live if I never find love, but in my opinion, that’s very different from delusionally believing that I’d be truly happy. Maybe some of these women could be, but certainly not as many claim so. Now, could you be content? Yes. Would it be the end of your life? No. However, to be truly happy without love, I think is very difficult to pull off and I think these women are being incredibly disingenuous.
I don’t mean to take anything away from the women’s movement and all. I just want to point out that there is an epidemic of women, arrogantly, thinking they’re more superior than men and it’s just wrong (honestly, imagine the tables turned). I know that there are bad men in the world, but guess what, there are bad women, too.
I once heard a commercial say that women make the world turn and I was baffled. Because, ugh no. Last I checked, the world would turn without the help of the whole human race, let alone just women. The point of the women’s movement was to be men’s equals, not their superiors. I have NEVER heard a man say he doesn’t need a woman to be happy or anything along those lines, but women can’t get enough and others eat it up.
So ladies, here’s a bit of advice: Stop saying that you don’t need a man. I don’t care how much you believe it’s true, it’s rude and in many cases, a flat out lie (to yourself included). Try showing men some respect. I guarantee you will receive nothing but respect in turn. But, if you treat them like crap and expect nothing from them, they will live down to your expectations.
So give them higher standards of expectations. You will be pleasantly surprised how many of them live up to those standards and even exceed your expectations. It’s possible to be strong and independent, all while having good man by your side — I swear.
This post originally appeared at YourTango.