1. The friend who’s just looking for retweets
It’s that friend who only tweets clever one-liners that will get them the most publicity. Approximately 1% of their material is actually original, and you’ve caught them on more than one occasion stealing Facebook statuses of mutual friends. Usual topics include misunderstood current events, Starbucks, and hatred for “basic bitches”.
2. The occasionally funny parody account that constantly spams your feed
Sure, that Helen Keller account is pretty funny when they tweet, but the nineteen irrelevant accounts they retweet a hundred times a day aren’t funny at all. You really should unfollow them, but you’re just too lazy.
3. The bandwagon fan who tweets about sports only during playoff season
“Favorite time of the year #playoffs” You, along with the rest of her followers, understand that she’s only trying to impress her new guy and actually knows nothing about the situation at hand. You’ve decided to just let her ramble about Peyton Manning’s field goal, correcting her would only make it worse.
4. The #hashtag and Emoji abuser
Amidst the sea of pound signs, you can barely decipher the actual point of this 140-character message. A bikini, a winky face, and a soccer ball? #kitty #DunkinDonuts? What?!
5. The recovering celebrity who lost her mind six months ago
Watching Amanda Bynes tweet her way into rehab was interesting, to say the least. Now that she’s back, what better way to celebrate her return than to chuckle at her attempts at Twitter normalcy?
6. The “Problems” account
Whether it’s First World Problems, Princess Problems, 90’s Girl Problems, etc., you’ve caught yourself on more than one occasion squealing, “oh my god, that’s totally me!”, hence the follow. Their tweets have probably become less entertaining as time passes, but it’s still good for a quick giggle or trip down memory lane now and again.
7. (At least one of) the Kardashians
Because what would life be without Kim’s pictures of Kanye on tour and Kendall and Kylie’s shameless promotion of their new clothing line?