It’s no secret that every girl secretly pines for her own Ryan Gosling. But the dating culture we have come to know today, is not the right way to find this great love that each girl so desperately craves. With all of the romantic comedies hitting theaters it is no wonder girls have this dream of how they want a romance to go.
There is constantly new technology coming around and we are all used to this new idea of “dating”. It is a sweet text, the lack of commitment, and the “hook-up” attitude many young people are engaging in today. This attitude is exactly what is wrong with society and it doesn’t give the actual good guys a chance to be with someone they want. It always seems that there are tons of desperate girls searching for the perfect man and when they finally meet them they are already in a relationship.
For some reason, this new “dating” style and lack of commitment is the popular trend, but remember back in middle school when having a boyfriend was the popular thing to do. Remember those butterflies you would get in your stomach when your crush walked by, and how all the girls would whisper to each other about who “liked” who. Now, I’m not saying we should resort to those middle school tactics because as adults we know how to communicate and handle things better then that, right?
When I go to the clubs and bars, I notice how many girls and guys are judging each other to find the “perfect person” for that night. It is as if each person is endlessly looking around the room to find someone attractive enough to be with for the next few hours. What ever happened to just going out on dates with a girl or a guy and getting to know them? In our society today, it seems that there is this lack of chivalry that now only exists in old 80’s movies.
Since we have this new dating culture in our society, I have created a few things that the good guys can do to show they are interested in a girl, in a respectful way. Think of it as taking that 80’s movie chivalry and putting it in present day, with a modern twist of course.
1. Text her goodnight and good morning
This may seem like something only people who want to hook-up do, but lets be real it is nice to know that your crush is thinking about you. This will also ensure the girl that you like her, which is the first step in starting a relationship. Warning, keep this for certain days and don’t be excessive with this. It can become a habit and then it looses it special factor.
2. Ask to hangout, without having other intentions
It seems that in our culture today, hangout = lets have sex. This is not always true. Sometimes the girl just wants to cuddle, watch a movie, and talk without the guy trying to get her in bed. By doing this, you will be on good standings with her, which can be very beneficial, and there will be no pressure to do anything sexual. With sex off the table, then there is no pressure on the night. You can both just have a good time and get to know each other better.
3. Pick up the phone and call her
I know that our technology has evolved to texting and now even the iPhone SIRI will write and send your texts for you, but seriously there is nothing wrong with a good old-fashioned phone call. For one thing, it is much more personal and it actually makes you know he is interested on a relationship level. The phone call gives off the message of “I like you, I want to talk to you and get to know you better”. The text says, “Are you busy tonight, I’m bored and I want to have sex”.
4. Know how to ask a girl out on a date
Be a man and ask a girl to dinner or lunch. Ask her in person or call her, don’t just text her. I understand that this can be very intimidating and that all of the pressure is on the guys in this situation, but this is how dating has been done for decades (remember the 1950s?). I’m sure most girls, as long as they’re not in a relationship, will take you up on this offer because this doesn’t happen very often anymore.
It is refreshing to see a guy take the lead and make the first move. If she happens to say no, move on to the next girl you like. She obviously wasn’t the right person for you. Another little tip: I know this might go without saying, but the guy should pay for the first date. Every one after that is not required. Ladies, get this out of your head that he has to pay for everything. Just like you don’t have an unlimited bank account, neither does he.
5. Know what you are looking for in a partner
This one is hard especially for those of you who might be new to the whole dating game. Know the qualities you want in someone else. Pick someone who will make you a better person instead of someone who bosses you around and treats you like crap. You need to work together instead of always trying to please the other person. Relationships are a two-way street, so both parties should act as such.
6. Show her you care about her and want to be with her
Do something nice for her. Make her feel like you actually care about her and want to spend time with her. Take her likes into consideration and actually try to make her happy. Now, ladies – back to the two-way street thing – this goes both ways sometimes. He shouldn’t always be spending money or doing nice things to make you happy, you also need to step up to the plate too, just saying.
7. Finally, be the guy she wants to show off and bring home to her parents
Be nice to her. Show her you care. Spend time together and find things common interests. Be the person she loves and wants to show off. Be there for her when she needs it and then sometimes even when she doesn’t. Tell her she’s beautiful, even when she’s wearing sweatpants and feels like crap.
Don’t be afraid to take risks and have fun because that’s really the only thing that matters. Spend time with the person who makes you happy. Even if this relationship is not the one that will last forever, you should be spending the time with someone who genuinely loves being with you and vice versa.