You want to be in love. It’s just the right time for you too—you’ve let go of past lovers, and even learned to love yourself. You’ve learned to flourish on your own, and that friends can be the best type of family. You’ve even started wearing make-up again when you go out in public, and last week you locked eyes with a cute person on the bus.
But you’re not in love. Because “you haven’t met the right person yet”, or you can’t seem to open up to someone who may just be the right one. Because all of the sudden you’re the only available person in your city, and couples have taken up all the tables as your favorite brunch place. Because, maybe, you’re trying too hard.
You spend hours in your room listening to the greatest love songs and dreaming up your perfect first date with your perfect someone. You doodle little cartoon hearts on all of your notes and all of your papers, just to pass the time. You even take a second look at that person at the laundromat who last week you swore was below you.
You want to be in love. But you’re missing the one crucial ingredient to this recipe — and it’s not something you can just run out to the store and pick up. You seem to have forgotten about how love works; it’s been so long since you’ve had it. You know in your brain that this love you dream of is ridiculous and out-of-reach, but your heart still thumps at the sight of that happy couple walking, hands clenched together, in the park.
You can’t be in love alone. You can’t just declare yourself taken and be suddenly swept off your feet by the man of your dreams. You can’t change your relationship status without at least the promise of someone’s compassion.
But still, as logical as you are, you still hope. You hope that you’ll wake up tomorrow and meet the person you’ve dreamed about all these nights. You hope you’re not crazy in imagining him, or in even imagining that you could be in love again. You’re no longer scared, which didn’t come easy. You’re ready.
Love, they say, doesn’t always make sense. And it can show up out of nowhere when you least expect it. But you want it now. You won’t give up.
You want to be in love.