1. They make me feel sick and lazy.
Regardless of how long I nap, at what time of the day I nap, the reason I nap, the weather conditions during the nap, or my caffeine intake in the hours surrounding the nap, I never fail to feel like absolute garbage when I wake up. I am covered in sweat, I feel like I have to throw up (and often actually do make myself barf), I feel even more tired than before the nap, and I feel like I want to keep napping until I die. This feeling stays with me the remainder of the day and leaves me feeling lazy, counting down the hours until bedtime, and hating myself because I knew it would happen just like this.
2. It’s impossible for me to make my naps the appropriate length.
Sometimes it takes me five minutes to fall asleep and sometimes it takes me 50 minutes. There is no way for me to set my alarm for a certain time to ensure a short, refreshing nap. I either don’t fall asleep before my alarm goes off and just end up angry, or I fall asleep too quickly and end up sleeping too long. Ugh.
3. You have to remake your bed after you take a nap.
I already think making my bed is a ridiculous waste of time when I live alone and don’t even have a cat to look at it. Having to do that once every morning is almost too much to handle. Twice in one day is just insane. While I do understand that for some human beings it is apparently possible to get up without making the bed, for me that is clearly not an option. It must be made.
4. They are not productive.
Between the time spent actually asleep, the pre-nap preparation, and the post-nap teeth-brushing and makeup-fixing, a lot of time is spent doing nap-related activities. It takes ten minutes to make a cup of coffee and feel the caffeine hit your veins and increase your heart rate. We all wish there were more hours in the day to get things done, and wasting even one of those hours on a nap is just not worth it when there is an easy alternative. Life is short and there are things to do!
5. As a rule, I try to avoid doing things that are endorsed on $10.50 T-shirts at Forever 21.
6. They mess with my perfect sleep schedule.
Every single weeknight I brush my teeth, wash my face, and set up my coffee for the next morning in time to be in bed no later than 10:30, and asleep absolutely no later than 11:30. I wake up at 7:00 every morning whether or not my alarm is set. If I take a nap at 3:00 in the afternoon there is no way I will be asleep at 11 that night, thereby screwing up my sleep and ruining my entire week. No nap is worth that.