50 Things That Won’t Make Him Text You

You’re waiting all night for a simple response to an innocent text message on which all of your emotional togetherness relies. You may try various techniques that you hope will magically make your phone light up with that night-changing SMS, but, let’s face it, they don’t work, and nothing you can do is going to make him text you back. Here are 50 of those things that will not work.

1. Staring at your phone

2. Not touching your phone

3. Restarting your phone

4. Dialing into your voicemail

5. Turning your volume all the way up

6. Putting your phone next to the sink while you wash your dishes

7. Checking your phone halfway through your shower

8. Texting him a question mark

9. Losing three pounds

10. Losing 15 pounds

11. Gaining five pounds

12. Doing your dishes

13. Ironing your clothes

14. Getting straight A’s

15. Listening to Wrecking Ball 30 times

16. Calling him

17. Getting a new tattoo

18. Painting your toenails

19. Adding his friends on Facebook

20. Internet stalking his entire life (again)

21. Watching a new show on Netflix

22. Buying a new outfit

23. Staying awake waiting

24. Trying to sleep

25. Sleeping

26. Crying about it

27. Going tanning

28. Getting a Brazilian

29. Keeping the day’s makeup on

30. Washing your makeup off

31. Telling yourself you don’t care

32. Going out

33. Texting a different guy

34. Sleeping with someone else

35. Tweeting about how he won’t text you

36. Doing 200 sit-ups

37. Reading The Art of Seduction

38. Sending him a sexy text with a winkie face

39. Telling your parents about him

40. Getting a different job

41. Vowing to play harder to get

42. Taking a long shower

43. Skipping dinner

44. Opening a bottle of wine

45. Smoking a cigarette

46. Analyzing everything he’s said to you in the past week

47. Asking your friend for advice

48. Praying

49. Wishing on a star

50. Willing him to text you with every bone, muscle, organ, nerve, and cell in your body

Leave the phone in your bedroom and find a better way to spend your time. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

image – Shutterstock

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